


That's Not What Business Casual Means

by Kieran (SunGryphon)



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Actual Lovemaking in a bed, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Barebacking, Clothed Masturbation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exhibitionism, Gaslighting, M/M, Mostly-Clothed Sex, Mutual Masturbation, PWP that became Porn With Plot, Phone Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Semi-Public Sex, Sexting, Spit As Lube, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unsafe Sex, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:47:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunGryphon/pseuds/Kieran
Summary: An exercise in exhibitionism turns into something much, much greater.





	1. The Subway

**Author's Note:**

> NOW WITH FAN ART IN CHAPTERS 2 and 4! 
> 
> Thanks to Eyokeyo for blessing me with some amazingly adorable (and hot!) fan art. I am truly humbled and honored that they liked my stuff enough to draw it. [Please go give them love too!](http://eyokeyo.tumblr.com/post/152098791218/slavetomyheadcanon-eyokeyo-i-read-this)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A man, a subway, a hard-on. What could happen?

Jack Morrison was tired, angry, and horny.

He sat slumped against the arm of the subway seat, idly thumbing his way through Tumblr porn on his phone. The car he was in was almost empty. A clean-cut guy with dark brown skin sat a few seats down, perched on the edge of the seat and using his knees for a desk as he typed away with agile fingers on his laptop, his locks pulled back into a thick ponytail. Across the way sat a man with a goatee bundled up in a fatigue jacket, his head tilted back against the corner, his eyes closed. A well-worn beanie was pulled low over his forehead.

Rough days at the office always put Jack into this mood. If only that idiot intern hadn't...

Jack sighed. There was no point in dwelling on it. It was in the past and there wasn't anything he could do about it now. He scowled slightly, shifting in his seat. His erection pressed against the fabric of his slacks and he reached down between his legs to shift himself slightly, trying to get more comfortable, then reached further to discreetly tug on his balls.

He glanced around the mostly-empty car. Laptop guy was still pecking away. Sleeping guy was still sleeping. Jack thumbed back to a particularly interesting .gif, watching the loop several times. He licked his lips and adjusted himself again, shifting in his seat. He began tapping his foot slowly, the motion causing his thigh to rub against his length through the cloth. He licked his lips again. The friction felt good but it was teasing.

He dropped his other hand casually into his lap, letting it hang there, relaxed. He took a glance around the car again and began stroking his shaft with his thumb. _Stay casual._

God, he was so hard. Fuck that job anyway.

He gripped the shaft of his hard length and tugged it slightly, squeezing, then resumed his thumb motions. He found another .gif, one of a bottom getting his ass reamed by a well-endowed top and climaxing hands-free. His dick twitched and he bit back a small gasp, then glanced guiltily around the car again. It was loud in here, but he still felt like the noise was even louder.

Laptop guy was still pecking away, now with a pair of earbuds in his ears and nodding his head in time to whatever he was listening to.

Beanie guy...

... was watching him through barely open eyes. _Fuck_.

He wouldn't have noticed but the light caught the man's face just right and revealed the telltale glitter between dusky eyelashes.

Guiltily Jack shifted position, moving his hand away from the aching length between his legs and back up to his phone, unable to still the slight tremors.

The car shuddered to a halt at a station, and laptop guy got up and bebopped his way down the aisle and out the door. The door closed and the subway car creaked into motion again, leaving Jack alone with beanie guy in the car. He tried to focus on his phone, but beanie guy shifted in his seat, the bottom edges of the fatigue jacket spreading open.

 _Oh my god_ Jack's brain slowly processed what he was seeing. Beanie guy still had his eyes closed (mostly) but the thick line of his dick was clearly visible down the leg of his jeans. _He's so big_ followed immedately by _he's so hard_ , and then on the heels of that, fragile in its tenuousness, _is that because of  -me-?_

The idea appealed, and his cock agreed, thumping with an interested flex. Jack felt a blush creeping over his cheeks, staining them pink. It seemed like he could hear the rush of his blood over the sound of the subway, and as if in a dream, he slowly lowered his shaking hand back to its previous perch on his leg, running his thumb along the shaft just below the head.

He glanced up through lowered eyelashes at beanie guy, and noticed he'd shifted just slightly, lifting his head, his eyes maybe a fraction wider. And there, at the corner of his generous mouth, a slight upturn. Smirk or smile, it didn't matter to Jack, because now his body flooded with an entirely different sensation. Shame. His cheeks grew hotter.

_What the fuck, do I need to get laid so bad that I'm willing to do this, to be like this?_

But he didn't stop, and in fact got a little bolder, using more of his hand instead of just his thumb. A few strokes, then pretend nothing is going on. His cock ached. He knew that by now his underwear would be soaked around the head. He reached down again and tugged at his balls, sending tiny shocks shooting up his length.

His mouth dropped open slightly as he tried to pretend he was paying attention to his phone instead of the man across from him. He felt dirty. Wanton, even. The entire "I know that you know that I know" thing was intoxicating. He palmed his length, pressing harder, squeezing the shaft between his hand and his hip. His hips rocked slightly, flexing his cock up against the confines of his slacks. Jack licked his lips, then dropped his hand further down, pressing into the soft space between his balls and his cock, stroking the wide ridge on the underside at the base.

Across the way, beanie guy had dropped his hand alongside the outline of his cock and was rubbing his leg, pressing the edge of his hand into his length. Jack registered the way his nostrils flared when he did this, and wondered what was going on in his head. He wondered what it might be like to stand up and move to him, kneeling down between those luscious thighs, and working the jeans down far enough to free that fat...

Jack shuddered, curling in on himself slightly as he suddenly realized he'd hit the point of no return with a ferocity that made him see stars. He groaned low in his throat, dropping the pretense of casualness as he gripped the thickness of his cock and squeezed, just holding on as he messily came in his underwear, his cock twitching.

When his vision cleared, he hazarded a look at beanie guy, whose mouth had dropped open in frank wonder, the glint of his teeth faintly visible between his wet lips. He'd dropped the sleep act and Jack felt pierced by his dark gaze. Jack could see the shift of the fatigue jacket over his chest moving with his heaving breaths, and his hand...

That hand was now outright stroking his cock through the jeans, pushing down against it on his thigh, base to tip. Jack licked his lips again and looked back up at the man's face, torn between watching his hand and watching his eyes. He found himself mouthing the words, "Come on... cum for me," even as his face felt tight and hot with embarrassment. Those dark eyes widened, then flickered closed, and Jack could hear the grunt even over the sound of the subway car, could see the thickness pulsing beneath the jeans. And then, the wetness spreading from the tip of the man's cock into the denim.

The car screeched its way into a stop. Jack's stop. He shakily got to his feet, all too aware of the wet mess in his underwear, grateful for the dark fabric. He started to move towards the doors, his cheeks burning, then stopped and looked back at beanie guy. Gathering his courage, he licked his lips, this time in nervousness.

"You wanna...?" he jerked his head in an awkward come hither motion. Beanie guy let out a breath and got to his feet and followed Jack as he stepped off the car into the station. They walked in awkward silence for a few minutes as they ascended the stairs. Jack wondered what he was getting into and found that he didn't really care.

"I'm Jack."

"Gabriel."


	2. The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack takes Gabriel home and tries not to make an ass of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter is rated M. No sex, but some awkward shenanigans. And dialogue. So much dialogue.
> 
> This chapter also now includes FAN ART!

_Gabriel. Like, the angel?_

Jack didn't say it out loud, thankfully. He just glanced over at beani- Gabriel, and smiled awkwardly. "I like that name."

They walked another half a block in silence, until Jack spoke again.

"I'm sorry if I'm not... chatty. I've just... I've never..."

Gabriel's voice was low and soothed some of Jack's anxiousness.

"It's all right. I understand." He huffed a little. "I've never done anything like this either."

Jack realized then that Gabriel was probably as nervous as he was. He swallowed and managed a brief, "Oh... that... that's good." _Christ_.

They walked a few more minutes in a silence that shifted between awkward and companiable, until finally Jack stopped near some well-worn stairs and said, "This is me."

The brownstone was shitty and ancient. A relic of a bygone age, it looked like the kind of place that would cost more to fix up than it would to tear down and start fresh. The concrete stairs were cracked, the facade crumbling. The paint on the wrought iron railing leading up to the tired doors peeled away from the metal in long cracks. Jack looked almost embarassed to be bringing Gabriel to this place, but buzzed them in and lead the way up the stairs.

It would be a kindness to say the stairwell smelled unpleasant. Jack felt his cheeks burning as he stammered out an apology that Gabriel graciously dismissed as unnecessary. They got to the third floor and Jack headed down the the length of the hallway, the threadbare carpet barely muffling their footsteps. The carpet may have been a floral pattern once upon a time, but now looked like at least three people had been murdered on it.

Jack stopped in front of a door that was clearly newer than the rest of the hallway, a brass "3b" tacked above the peephole. Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the three visible deadbolts that Jack unlocked. Jack laughed awkwardly, then murmured, "I got broken into twice in the first week." Gabriel only nodded in understanding.

Jack opened the door and called out, "Ana, I'm home!" A few seconds later a spotted grey cat ran around a corner. Before Jack could say anything, she took one look at Gabriel, skidded to a stop, hissed, and vanished back the way she came. Jack sighed. "Don't take it personally, she hates everyone." He turned to look at Gabriel, who was still standing at the door. "You... Uh... Come in?"

Gabriel looked at him and deadpanned, "I'm allergic to cats."

Jack's face fell.

"Oh... I... Shit. I'm sorry, I..." He trailed off because Gabriel's face...

Gabriel was clearly fighting a smile, his lips pressed tightly together, the corners of his eyes crinkling and a mischievous twinkle in the amber brown orbs.

Jack's mouth dropped open and Gabriel laughed, and Jack was certain it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard, and caused a strange hiccup in his chest. He vaguely thought that if he could make Gabriel laugh like that every day, it'd be the best thing that ever happened to him. He grinned and shook his head, then started laughing himself, stepping back as Gabriel entered the apartment.

"I'm sorry, chico, but I just couldn't resist. Your face!"

Jack closed the door behind him and locked the three deadbolts (and two chains, and one latch), and muttered something about needing to move to a safer neighborhood. He sighed, then turned around to face Gabriel, spreading his arms in a kind of shrug. "Well, welcome to my humble abode. I... um... you know, I have a washer and dryer in here, if..."

Jack blushed deeply as Gabriel slowly smiled, "If you're sure you won't implode by my being pantsless in your apartment."

"I... Jesus... Okay... let's... can we just talk about the elephant real quick?"

"Sure, Jack." Gabriel stood up a little straighter, and Jack noticed that his expression changed slightly, from open to wary.

Jack rubbed a hand through his hair, rumpling it and then turned to look Gabriel straight on.

"That was... probably the hottest thing I've ever done in my entire life. EVER. When I realized you were watching me I just... I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew that it made me feel good to make you feel good... and I did, right?" Jack's voice turned slightly worried.

Gabriel nodded slowly, "You did. And while I've done some crazy things, I've never done anything like that. It just... felt right?"

Jack let out a breath, "Yeah, yeah that's a good way to put it. But... now you're here and I just... I don't know if I want... "

"Hey, it's okay. I'm a regular guy, okay? I'm not some kind of ... crazy subway prostitute or something. We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

Jack laughed a bit at that. "Well, thanks for the reassurance. I guess... I mean, don't get me wrong, you seem like a nice guy, but I don't usually do stuff with strangers."

Gabriel's face changed from wary back to relaxed, and his smile went lopsided, "I'm not a total stranger, at least?"

Jack smiled in return, "No, you're not. So... um... let's at least wash up? You can use the bathroom first if you want, I'll just toss whatever you want into the laundry."

Gabriel nodded, "Sure, that's fine." He shrugged out of his fatigue jacket and handed it to Jack.

Jack gestured down the hallway, "First door on the left. Towels are in the cabinet over the toilet. The hot water is... a little temperamental so start off with it cooler than you'll think you need. Uh... feel free to use whatever... stuff in there you want." Jack winced at how he sounded, but Gabriel only gave him a quick smile before he unlaced his boots, stepped out of them and headed down the short hallway. The bathroom door clicked a moment later, and Jack sagged in relief. He laid the jacket down on the little card table that ostensibly acted as his dining table, but more often than not was simply a key and mail repository.

_What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I doing?_

"MADRE DE DIOS!"

Startled, Jack bolted for the bathroom.

"Are you okay, Gabriel?"

"Yeah!" Gabriel's voiced sounded strained, but he was laughing. "You weren't kidding about the water!"

Jack grinned and leaned his forehead against the door.

"I did warn you! You should have seen me the first time I used the shower. I came out looking like a lobster."

Gabriel laughed, and Jack's heart skipped again.

"Hey, ah... if you want, just grab my jeans? For the laundry."

"Sure! I can do your underwear and soc-"

"NO! Uh... I mean no, that's okay. I wasn't wearing any underwear anyway."

Jack felt his cheeks bloom with heat. _Of course_ he wasn't wearing underwear.

He cracked the door open and grabbed Gabriel's jeans from where they sat on the toilet lid, then closed the door again. He tried not to imagine what Gabriel's body might look like right now, wet with soap and...

Jack shook his head sharply. Thinking of that only reminded him that he still had a mess of his own to clean up. He opened up the folding door that the stacked washer and dryer was hidden behind, dropped Gabriel's jeans in, and then paused. Chewing his lip, he reached back into the washer and picked Gabriel's jeans back up, holding them up by the waistband in front of him.

The damp patch of drying cum was a lot bigger than he realized on the subway.

 _Jesus_.

He tried not to keep looking at it as he lowered his hands and checked the pockets, just in case. He wasn't sure what exactly was going on between the two of them, but he was sure he didn't want to ruin it by accidentally washing his wallet. Fortunately, the only thing he found was lint, and after another beat, he glanced at the bathroom door, then checked to see what size jeans Gabriel had to get to fit those exquisite thighs into. Filing that bit of information away, he dropped the jeans back into the washer and went to his bedroom.

He shucked his slacks off, tossing them into the laundry basket by the door, then peeled his underwear off, grimacing as the sticky mess stuck to his skin and hair.

 _As hot as that was..._ He didn't bother finishing the thought. He knew perfectly well that if he had the opportunity to do it again, he would... At least if Gabriel was involved. He tossed his underwear in the basket and then took off his tie. He was in the process of unbuttoning his shirt when he heard Gabriel call from the bathroom.

"Hey, Jack? Do you want me to leave the water running since it's... you know... comfortable right now?"

"Yeah, thanks. Hey, uh, make yourself at home on the couch, find something to watch if you want."

He winced because he knew his apartment wasn't in the best shape, but too late to try to clean up. He peeled his socks off just as Gabriel walked out of the bathroom, clad again in his tight t-shirt (and socks, of all things), with a towel knotted around his waist. Jack imagined he could see a slight bulge at the front of the towel and gulped, and dragged his gaze upward. He realized Gabriel was holding his beanie in his hand at the same time he realized Gabriel's hair was a rich ebony, trimmed into a fade that left loose wavy curls on top of his head. He looked gorgeous.

Gabriel turned his head to look at Jack, then grinned.

"Nice..." was all he said, but Jack blushed red to the roots of his hair when he realized that the only thing between him and nudity were the two bottom-most buttons on his shirt. Gabriel smiled and walked back into the living room, and Jack felt his breath catch at the sight of Gabriel's back muscles and the swell of his ass under the towel.

He gathered his dirty clothes and dropped them in the wash, then pulled his shirt off and dropped that in too. Feeling more naked than he ever had in his life, he quickly darted into the bathroom, just in case Gabriel decided to look back around the corner.

Once in the safety of the bathroom, he shut the door and leaned his forehead against it again, trying to calm his breathing and ridiculous racing heart. He stepped into the shower (the temperature was perfect) and quickly scrubbed himself down, growling a bit at the stubborn, gummy flecks of cum that lingered in his pubic hair.

Finally he got all the bits out, and wondered if it might not be a good idea to trim the shrubbery, before turning off the water and stepping back out onto the mat. He grabbed a towel and quickly dried off, then wrapped the towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom, detoured to the washer, added soap and started it, before taking a deep breath and heading back to the living room.

He found Gabriel sitting on his well-loved couch, flipping through one of the architecture magazines Jack subscribed to. He smiled at Jack and set the magazine down. Jack noticed he'd picked a music channel to listen to rather than watching something, something slow and jazzy.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah."

Silence for a heartbeat, and then Jack cleared his throat.

"Ah, so, um... grand tour!" He moved to the center of the room, and made an expansive gesture. "This is the living room, that's the kitchen. You already know where the bathroom is, then I've got my bedroom.... and that's it! Tour over."

Gabriel chuckled, looking around the room.

Jack's apartment was shabby, a little messy, but not unbearably so. He had a modest entertainment center with a smallish TV in the center, a few books, blu-rays and plants scattered in various cubbies on either side, and a sinuous statue of a pair of oriental dragons twining around each other on the top. Next to the dragon was a twisted-trunked juniper bonsai, clearly well-maintained, trained in such a way that it flowed over the side of the entertainment center like a green, slow-moving waterfall.

The maroon couch Gabriel sat on had probably seen better days, but was now comfortable enough to sink into without much trouble. A yard sale coffee table squatted between the couch and the TV, an obsolete phonebook shoved under one leg. Several architecture magazines were scattered across it, including the one that Gabriel had been looking through.

"Are you an architect?"

"What? No... I just... dabble?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, "Isn't architecture kind of... complicated?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. Sort of. Uhm.. Hey, listen, I'm starving. Do you want some dinner? I can order Chinese or something."

"Huh? Yeah, that'd be... sure! I know what it's like to have empty cupboards."

Jack found his phone and tapped on the restaurant delivery app he always used.

"Oh.. um... actually I... I can't cook."

"WHAT?"

Gabriel got to his feet, gave Jack an incredulous glance, and headed into the kitchen.

"No, Gabriel... Wait!"

Gabriel walked to Jack's refrigerator and opened the door, and Jack chewed on his lip as Gabriel just stared. The fridge was empty except for a questionable carton of milk, a pizza box, a couple of nondescript takeout boxes, and a Tupperware container housing the first supervillain plotting to take over the world. Gabriel surveyed all this with a kind of amazement, then closed the door and turned to Jack.

"How are you even alive right now?"

Jack blushed and pointed to the garbage can, which was full of takeout containers from various places.

"I just... I eat at work most of the time, and when I'm here, I just..." He shrugged, lamely. "It's easier to just order in."

He held his phone up and shook it a little.

"Got anything you like?"

"Wow, Jack..." Gabriel looked around the kitchen and explored the cupboards, finding barely anything that a regular person would have had in their kitchen. The sink contained a grand total of three coffee mugs and a plate, which was one mug and one plate more than what was in the cabinets. The food Gabriel turned up was almost completely grab and go junk.

He held up a box of Pop Tarts, giving Jack an incredulous look.

"Really, Jack? _Really_?"

Jack laughed it off, still blushing, "Hey, I'm just not around enough to bother. Orange chicken okay? Want some won-tons?"

Jack continued to place the order, thumbing through the menu with practiced ease, getting a variety of entrees and appetizers. With enough leftovers, he could eat off this meal for a few days at least. He completed the order, then looked up and nearly dropped his phone, because Gabriel had silently moved closer to him and was now close enough to touch.

"Jack, you really don't know how to cook?"

The expression on Gabriel's face was guarded and Jack wasn't sure what to think of it. He was all too aware of how Gabriel's shirt clung to his frame, and how the towel clung to his hips. He swallowed and shook his head, "No, I really don't. I just... I never needed to learn."

Gabriel made a tsk noise and smiled, "Maybe I could show you sometime."

"I... uh... yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."

Gabriel tapped Jack's nose with one finger and then moved away, walking back into the living room, leaving Jack trying to catch his breath again and wondering what just happened. Gabriel moved to stand near the windows, their sills lined with succulents and spider plants, the dusky light still bright enough to see by, and looked curiously at the table that sat nearby, in the perfect position to catch the light.

Where the rest of Jack's apartment was messy and lived in, this desk was the exact opposite.

"This is a drafting table..." Gabriel tilted his head and took in the neat arrangement of pencils and paper, along with the T-square that hung on the side. A squat, wide cabinet on wheels sat next to the desk, with a dozen drawers in it, each barely two inches in height. Jack bit his lip and walked over to Gabriel.

"Yeah... it's... where I dabble."

Gabriel smiled, "Show me?"

Jack huffed and smiled, "All right."

He opened the third drawer from the top, carefully pulling out an enormous sheet of paper that took up the entire drawer, placing it carefully on the desk.

"My dream house..."

Gabriel stared at the paper until it suddenly made sense to him. A modest, two story cabin, with lots of windows and an open floor plan. A porch, a workshop, even a little garden.

"On a lake, I'm guessing?"

Jack smiled, "If I could live anywhere, it would be on a lake." Jack's voice caught a bit and he cleared his throat. "Anyway, it's just something I was messing around with."

"This is really good... this is you dabbling? What do you do for work, then?"

"Oh, um... I'm a paralegal. I was in the military, but... anyway, I'm a paralegal now. I always wanted to be an architect."

"Why don't you?"

Jack laughed. Scoffed, even. "I'm too old now to get into it."

Gabriel smiled, "Come on, you can't be that old."

Jack's smile was lopsided, "I'm 40."

"See, that's not that old. Anyway, if it's what you really want to do you should go for it. Don't let anyone else dictate your dreams for you."

"You sound like that's coming from experience?"

"You could say that..."

"Okay, now I'm curious. What do _you_ do for a living?"

"Oh, I'm a dancer."

Jack hadn't really been expecting anything in particular but when Gabriel said he danced, Jack's brain whirled a bit and he wondered what kind of dancer he meant. Like... pole dancer? Exotic dancer? Jack could see that, what with those good looks and...

"Jack?"

"Well, that explains the thighs." Jack face-palmed and muttered, "Sorry."

Gabriel laughed and cocked his hip sideways, "And this ass, don't forget that."

"How could I?" Jack laughed too, and then gathered up his drawing and placed it back in the drawer, closing it carefully.

"So you like my thighs, huh?" Jack stiffened at the tone of Gabriel's voice, and turned to look at him.

Gabriel had moved closer, almost but not quite touching Jack, and Jack swallowed audibly.

"Uh... yes... yes I do." He found himself staring at the general vicinity of Gabriel's crotch, hidden as it was by the towel. Gabriel laughed and touched the back of Jack's hand with his fingers.

"I worked hard to get these thighs. It's nice to know someone appreciates them."

Jack moved his hand slowly, brushing it against Gabriel's fingers, suddenly feeling very nervous. He looked into Gabriel's amber eyes and shivered, just slightly. Gabriel smiled and ghosted his fingers up Jack's arm and across his shoulder, then down his chest, causing Jack's skin to break out into goose-flesh.

"I should have put a shirt on," Jack muttered with a rueful grin.

"Aw, but then I wouldn't be able to do this..." Gabriel moved closer and slid both hands from Jack's stomach up over his shoulders, draping them behind his neck. Jack could feel his shaft pressing against his own through the towel, and while it wasn't hard, it was definitely firm, and Jack couldn't help but push back with his hips slightly.

Jack sighed and laughed breathlessly, then put his hands on Gabriel's waist.

"I'm sorry, I just feel... a little giddy."

Gabriel began moving gently in time with the music, slowly guiding Jack backwards into the center of the living room, smiling all the while. Jack let Gabriel lead and for a few songs the pair slow-danced around the room, Gabriel in his shirt, socks and towel, and Jack in just his towel. Jack's head spun a little with the sheer absurdity of it all, not to mention the fact that Gabriel was rubbing slowly against him. He felt his pulse quicken as his cock twitched, and he slid his hands from Gabriel's back down to his ass.

"Jesus..." he breathed, splaying his fingers across Gabriel's rear gently, feeling the muscles there. Gabriel grinned and blinked innocently, his amber eyes appearing almost catlike in the dimming light. Jack felt dizzy, unsure, but he knew that no matter what happened, there was at least one thing he wanted to do before he woke up from the dream.

"Gabriel...?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Would it be all right if I... I mean... if we..." He looked down at Gabriel's full lips and licked his own in a nervous gesture. Gabriel slid one hand from Jack's shoulder to card up into his hair, a slow, easy smile spreading across his mouth.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Jack leaned in, his nose brushing against Gabriel's cheek as he tilted his head, feeling the warmth from Gabriel's lips as ...

***BZZZZZT***

Jack jumped a foot up and back, and Gabriel made a startled "HAH" noise as they both reacted to the angry screech of the door buzzer. Jack put his hand on his chest, his heart beating wildly.

"JESUS H CHRIST ON A CRACKER."

Gabriel laughed breathlessly, leaning against the back of the couch as he doubled over, trying to regain his composure.

Jack walked over to the door and hit the intercom, "Yeah?!"

"Chinese delivery!"

"'Kay, thanks, come on up."

He angrily punched the button that would unlock the main door, and turned to look at Gabriel, who was still leaning against the couch, laughing with his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"I.. I forgot... I totally forgot..." Gabriel gasped out.

Jack laughed, feeling his heart returning to a more sedate pace, "So did I. Jesus, I think I may have aged about ten years there."

He shook his head and moved over to the coffee table, gathering the magazines and setting them in one of the cubbies in the entertainment center.

"We can just eat here. It'll be easier anyway. I'll be right back."

Gabriel finally settled and stood up, wiping his eyes and rubbing his cheeks. He walked around the front of the couch and sat down, chuckles bubbling up again every few moments. Jack walked back to the washing machine and opened it up, pulling out their damp clothes and checking to make sure the stains were clean before popping them into the dryer and starting it.

He snagged an old Army t-shirt from his bedroom and walked back into the living room, reaching the door just as there was a knock. After checking the peephole, he unlocked the three deadbolts (and two chains and one latch) and divested the delivery man of his various bags, ignoring the way he eyed the towel around Jack's waist. He signed the slip, left a generous tip, and closed the door, locking everything back up again.

He flipped on a couple of lights, then took the bags over to the coffee table and sat down, carefully unpacking everything and laying it out.

"You never did say what you liked so I got a little of everything."

Gabriel laughed, "A little?"

"Well... I figured this would keep me in leftovers for a few days."

"You're hopeless, Jack."

"Well, not totally hopeless, I ... hope?"

Gabriel sputtered a laugh and snagged a pair of chopsticks, then dove in, picking bits of meat and vegetables cautiously out of the containers.

"Oh, shoot, that reminds me..." Jack got up and reached up to the top of the entertainment center, feeling around beneath the pair of dragons.

"Ah-hah!" He pulled out a small case and sat back down, holding it up triumphantly. Gabriel raised an eyebrow and Jack opened the case revealing a delicately painted pair of ivory-colored chopsticks.

"Wow! Can I see those?"

"Sure," Jack replied as he handed them over to Gabriel, who peered closely at the designs.

"These are beautiful," Gabriel said, his voice clearly expressing his amazement.

"Thanks, one of my friends back in Japan made them for me."

"Wow... you've been to Japan?" Gabriel handed the chopsticks back to Jack, who tucked them into his hand and began picking up tidbits as easily as using a fork.

"Yeah, I was stationed there for a bit."

"Can I ask what you did in the military?"

Jack deadpanned, "No. No you can't."

Gabriel blinked at him, holding a piece of chicken halfway to his mouth.

"Wait, really?"

Jack laughed, "No, you can ask me, but then I'd have to kill you."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and continued eating, smiling as he did.

"Okay, seriously now. I was... well, I was a member of the JAG."

"JAG, you mean like a lawyer?"

"Yeah, sort of, except we dealt with military law instead of civilian law."

"Sounds... boring?"

"Eh... it had its days. But... It's not something for light conversation."

Gabriel nodded, then picked up a dumpling, "I understand."

Jack watched Gabriel eat for a moment, then looked at the food spread out in front of him, picking up a piece of orange chicken and placing it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"Jack..."

"Mhmm?"

"I can hear you thinking."

Jack swallowed and chuckled. "Just trying to wrap my head around this day. It was so shitty, and then the subway... and now this..." He gestured to the table, then Gabriel, with his chopsticks.

"It just feels like some kind of weird dream, you know? Like I'm going to wake up and find out that I fell asleep in a board meeting or something."

"Do you believe in fate?"

"No, not really. I mean... in the military there's not a lot of room for 'fate', if you know what I mean."

"I understand. It is kind of weird, I'll give you that. But..." Gabriel looked at Jack, then reached out and put his hand on Jack's towel-clad thigh. Jack felt a bloom of heat there that swiftly traveled to his cheeks.

"I'm glad it happened."

Jack scooted over until his leg touched Gabriel's, reaching over to put his hand on Gabriel's knee, and looked into his eyes.

"So am I." He gave Gabriel a brief smile and leaned in, tilting his head. His lips ghosted across Gabriel's tentatively, then with more firmness as he gained confidence. Gabriel's mouth was warm and inviting, and he returned Jack's kisses with a soft sweetness that made Jack's head swim. Slowly Jack lifted a hand and cupped Gabriel's jaw, his thumb stroking the soft, wiry hair of his goatee. After several moments, Jack pulled back, his breathing unsteady. Gabriel looked at him with lowered lashes, breathing just as shakily as Jack.

"Wow..."

All Jack could do was nod in agreement. He sat back slightly and looked at Gabriel with something akin to amazement. He felt dizzy, his heart pounding.

"Uh... look, I don't mean to cater to that whole... cliché thing... but I've never had a kiss like that."

Gabriel laughed softly, "Guess this day is just full of firsts for both of us, huh?"

Jack was pretty sure that the expression on his face would qualify as "dopey" but he grinned anyway. A moment later the dryer made a soft ping and Jack sighed in disappointment.

"Well, guess that's it for our pantsless time," he joked.

Gabriel just smiled, then glanced out the window at the dark sky.

"It's probably time for me to get going, anyway. I have a long ride home."

Jack groaned softly, "Shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't even consider..."

Gabriel tapped him gently on his nose, "It's okay. It was my decision. A good decision, I might add."

Jack slowly got to his feet, followed by Gabriel, and lead the way to the dryer. He opened it up and pulled Gabriel's jeans out, checking again to make sure the stain was gone.

"Here you go," he smiled, and handed the jeans to Gabriel.

"Ahh, warm jeans, my favorite." He stepped into them and started to pull them up his legs, underneath the towel. Jack couldn't help but make a little disappointed noise and Gabriel laughed.

"I gotta save something for our next date, huh?"

Jack blinked, then gave a lopsided smile, "Is that what we were doing?"

Gabriel looked at him seriously for a moment, holding his gaze as he finished pulling his jeans on, and getting himself settled before pulling the towel away.

"I say this with absolute sincerity, Jack," he stepped close and slid his arms around Jack's shoulders again. "This has been the most bizarre day of my life, but... I'd do it again, just like this, if I had to." He paused for a moment, then grinned, "Well, maybe without the heart attack."

Jack chuckled and ducked his head slightly, hesitating a moment before kissing Gabriel, sliding his arms around his waist. Gabriel's arms tightened around his neck and the two pressed against each other, kissing each other with languid sweetness. Finally Jack broke the kiss and slid his hands up and down Gabriel's back.

"I'd really like to see you again."

"Likewise." Gabriel stepped back out of Jack's hands and moved towards the door. He gathered his jacket and beanie, putting both on, then slipped a phone out of his jacket pocket.

"Give me your number," Gabriel said, then carefully entered it in, showing Jack that he'd been saved as a contact.

"I'll text  you, and we'll get together again?" Gabriel leaned down to lace his boots back on.

"Please," Jack said, then unlocked the hardware on the door.

"Gabriel, I... thank you. I had a good time."

Gabriel smiled, then put his hand on Jack's cheek, leaning forward to kiss him again.

"So did I, Jack. I'll talk to you soon."

Jack watched Gabriel walk down the hallway and disappear around the corner, then closed the door and locked the three deadbolts, the two chains, and the latch, before putting his back against the door and sliding to the floor, putting his face in his arms as they rested on his knees.

He was fairly certain he'd never see or hear from Gabriel again. 

 

 

 

Thank  you Eyokeyo! (If you want to see the bigger version, you'll have to [go to their tumblr!](http://eyokeyo.tumblr.com/post/152098791218/slavetomyheadcanon-eyokeyo-i-read-this))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone in the R76 Discord, and everyone who commented, for encouraging me to turn my smutty little ficlet into a real Thing™. It's been a lot of fun.  
> (Ana is an Egyptian Mau, if anyone was curious)


	3. The Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter: Sexting, Phone Sex, Exhibitionism

**Hey Jack, it's me.**

Jack didn't have to ask who "me" was. His face broke into a sunny grin, a little embarrassed with himself at the wash of relief he felt.

Hey! How are you?

**I'm good. Sorry I didn't text for a couple days, I just had to process some stuff.**

Yeah I know what you mean.

**You at work right now?**

Yeah, stuck here for at least another hour holding down the fort.

**Does that mean you're alone?**

Except for the intern, yeah.

**Interns are people too, Jack.**

LOL

**Do you have your own office?**

Yeah, thankfully. Has a nice view of the Park, too.

**Go lock your door.**

Jack swallowed. _What?_ He got up and walked to the door, then stuck his head out.

"Hey, Jesse? Make sure I'm not disturbed for a bit, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Morrison," Jesse replied, not bothering to look up from his phone.

Jack stepped back in and clicked the door lock, then went back to his desk. He took a breath, eyed his phone, then replied.

OK it's locked.

**So I was wondering if you started on the subway hoping someone would see you or if you really were trying to be smooth about it.**

Jack closed his eyes, his cock giving a huge twitch in his pants. Had he actually wanted to get caught? It would have been easy enough to move to an empty car... He swallowed and tapped in his reply.

I wanted to get caught.

**How tall is your building?**

Jack's cock twitched again as his mind leapt forward and began to race.

I'm on the 5th floor.

**Go to your window and pull your dick out**.

Jack caught a breath, his cock immediately hardening. He didn't reply for a couple minutes, long enough for Gabriel to send another text.

**Too far?**

No, I just  
That was  
Fuck  
Sorry

Impishly he snapped a photo of his pants, clearly showing his dick straining against the fabric, and sent it.

**Wow**

Yeah

He swallowed and got up, staring out the plate windows of his office. He moved forward slowly, until he was standing in front of them, looking down onto the street below, and Central Park beyond that. He slid his zipper down and freed his hard length, stroking it slowly.

Okay. I'm  at the window.

Texting was harder with one hand, but he managed.

**Are you stroking yourself?**

Yes

**Let me see**

I'll show you mine if you show me yours

A minute later, Jack's phone received a picture. He felt himself shaking a little as he opened it up. The photo was clearly taken hastily in a restroom somewhere, but there was Gabriel's flushed cock, framed by his gorgeous thighs. It was big and thick and Jack's mouth actually watered at the sight. Jack's own cock was smaller but that didn't stop him from snapping a picture of it poking out of his slacks, held down by his thumb on the shaft.

**Wow**

Yeah?

**Yeah uh**  
**Your dick is PRETTY**  
**Wow**

Jack chuckled a bit, slowly running his hand up and down his length.

If mine is pretty then yours is handsome because wow

**You like?**

Oh yeah

**I'm glad**

Jack's heart skipped a beat and he laughed softly. He felt so awkward and hot and shy it was like high school all over again. He was pretty sure that his face was bright red at this point.

**So can you see people?**

Yeah where we're at there's plenty of people on the sidewalks.

**So if someone looked up**

Jack groaned softly. If someone looked up, and looked hard enough, they'd see him standing at the window. They probably wouldn't be able to see his cock specifically, but his arm motion was universal.

They'd know

**That's so hot  
You're so hot**

Jack groaned again, working his hand around the head and gathering the precum there, then slicking it back down his shaft.

His phone buzzed in his hand and he looked at it, surprised to see an incoming call, then felt his cheeks flush as he realized who was calling him.

He answered it quietly.

"Hello?"

Gabriel's voice was breathy and quiet, "Jack..."

His cock throbbed suddenly and Jack gasped, trying to stay quiet, his voice a hoarse whisper.

"Gabriel..."

"Are you still stroking yourself?"

"God yes."

"Good... so am I."

Jack almost came on the spot, but swallowed his moan.

"Someone down there is watching you, Jack." Gabriel's low voice was punctuated by slow breaths. "Someone out there can see you with your phone to your ear and your cock in your hand."

"Jesus fuck..." Jack's breath hitched faster as he fucked into his hand, watching the people on the street below. He leaned his forehead against the window, fogging the glass with his breath.

Gabriel's soft grunts and breathy groans stirred him more than he thought possible, his cock achingly hard in his hand. He was so close already that his head swam with the need of it.

"Jack... I'm close..."

Jack shuddered at the need in Gabriel's voice, listened to his breaths start to hitch and stutter. He could almost make out the wet, slick noises of Gabriel's hand. His cock surged with precum and he groaned.

"Fuck... yeah... me too." He swallowed and decided to be brave. "Gabriel... cum for me." He bit back a gasp as he heard Gabriel's low moans pitch higher. "Cum with me Gabe come on please oh god."

And then, he heard that low grunt of release, the same as on the subway, but so different this time. He could imagine how it would sound if Gabriel's mouth was at his ear, here with him, unfiltered by a phone or a subway. Jack's vision blurred as he gripped his cock hard, spurting several long white ropes of cum onto the window, trying not to cry out or drop the phone.

For a minute or two neither one did anything but breathe in each other's ears.

"Jack?"

"Hey."

"I have to go. I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yeah... yeah, please."

"Don't forget to clean your window."

Jack stared at his phone after the call ended. How the hell had Gabriel known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find the companion piece to this chapter [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8269412)


	4. The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Gabriel have a little fun in Central Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter: Anal Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Mostly-Clothed Sex
> 
> This chapter now includes FAN ART!

Jack huddled a bit more into the hoodie he was wearing as he crossed 5th Avenue and headed into the Park. The weather was finally starting to reflect the season, and although it would probably get pretty warm later in the day, this early in the morning it was cool enough for him to wish he'd worn sweatpants too. The multitude of trees in Central Park were only just starting to show hints of the color to come, and the brisk breeze made him take a deeper breath and smile, despite the chill. Autumn was probably his favorite time of year.  He thumbed through his playlist, then shrugged and put it on random. The beat washed over him as he started to run, easily falling into the pace of the music.

He jogged for a full minute and a half before the voice in the song suddenly had him thinking of Gabriel. They had only texted briefly since the afternoon that Gabriel had called him, mostly things like "Hey I'm about to start a show but wanted to tell you you were on my mind" and "Eating leftovers. Ana says hello." with a picture of Ana's nose. It was nice, but he wondered what was going on between them, exactly.

 _The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice_  
_Hearing you speak my name_  
_Beckoning me to answer_  
_Telling me you want me_  
_So I tell you that you're the answer to every question I've ever had about love_

He let out a slow breath as his heartbeat ramped up. His mind wandered as the voice in the song whispered to him everything he wanted to tell Gabriel. He felt dirty again, ashamed, and grateful that his sweatshirt was baggy and long enough that he could hide his awkward erection behind it.

 _Aye papi... eres tan grande y tan duro_  
_y me lo das tan bueno_  
_tu eres un pecado mortal_  
_cojelo otra vez_

_You fucking me makes me bilingual._

A shock ran through his groin, causing Jack to pull up short, then sag onto a nearby bench. He quickly pulled his phone out and then sent a text with shaking fingers.

You up yet?

His tapped his foot nervously while he waited for a reply.

**You okay?**

Jack's heart thudded at the reply. He tried not to let his brain spiral off into wondering why Gabriel's immediate question had been about his well-being.

Yeah I'm fine, I was just wondering if you were busy.

**Not really, what's up?**

How long would it take you to get to the Park?

**About 30 minutes?**

I'll buy you breakfast.

**I'm there!**

Let me know when you get here. I'm jogging on the south side.

**Hmm! See you soon!**

Jack put his phone away and rubbed his face, his leg now jittering on its own. He felt a little sick to his stomach with nervousness, but at the same time, giddy. He got up again and started running, trying to clear his mind and his worry.

Several hard rock songs later his phone finally chirped at him.

**I'm at Gapstow.**

Be right there.

Jack sprinted. He couldn't help it. He just had to reassure himself as quickly as possible that Gabriel was a real, flesh-and-blood man and not some figment concocted by his lonely imagination. He wanted to tell him everything that had been on his mind since the subway and the sort-of dinner date, and the phone call, and he needed to tell Gabriel just how much he...

Jack's thoughts fled as soon as he saw Gabriel on the bridge, and he nearly skidded to a halt.

Gabriel leaned over one of the parapets at the height of the arched, stone bridge, looking down into the water. No, wait, he was dropping something into the water. Now Jack could faintly hear the ducks and realized that Gabriel was tearing pieces of bread apart and dropping them down. Jack's mouth fell open a little bit as he took in Gabriel's easy, breathtaking smile, the casual and practiced way he fed the ducks, as if this was an everyday thing for him.

Gabriel was wearing his olive drab fatigue jacket again, but this time he also had a hoodie underneath it, the hood bunched up around his neck. The beanie was on his head, and he wore the same cargo-style jeans, and boots, that he had been that day on the subway. Jack swallowed and tried to compose himself, getting his breath back at the same time. He ran a hand over his face and started up the arch of the bridge. At least he could blame his sweaty palms on his jog.

Gabriel looked over at him as he got closer, and smiled even more. Jack felt his heart give another thump.

"Hey, chico. Have a good run?"

"Yeah, thanks. You fattening up the ducks?"

Gabriel laughed, "Always. Just like my mom used to do with me." He offered Jack the small loaf of bread he was tearing bits from, and Jack joined him in dropping bread down to the ducks. He stood close to him, his arm and leg pressing lightly against Gabriel's as they held the loaf together and tore it up. When they'd dropped the last crumb, and the ducks swam away, protesting the sudden reduction of bread, Jack smiled at Gabriel.

"It's good... nice to see you again."

Gabriel nudged Jack's leg with his knee.

"Same, chico. I was a little worried about you when you texted me. We don't normally talk so early."

"I just..." Jack blew out a huff of air and looked down, his traitorous cheeks heating up, "I wanted to see you again."

Gabriel's voice was soft, "So did I, chico. No worries."

Jack looked up and found Gabriel gazing at him with a fond expression in his amber eyes. He bit his lip and blurted out, "What are we doing?"

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking in a smile, "Standing here talking?"

"No, I mean... with us... what are we doing?"

"Well, you did text me... Jack? Are you all right?"

Being reminded of the text reminded Jack of the song and that reminded him of the phone call. His brain sizzled and he knew he'd turned red.

"Sorry, I'm... It was this song... I just... dammit."

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him, smiling bemusedly, "Which song?"

Jack rubbed a hand over his face, trying to cool his cheeks, and queued the song up, handing his earbuds over to Gabriel. He turned and stared out over the water, resting his elbows on the parapet and hunching down as Gabriel listened to the music for several minutes.

"Jesus, Jack... this song is... is..." Gabriel trailed off. Jack's ears grew hot, knowing he must have gotten to the Spanish part. A wanton thrill ran through his body as he imagined actually being able to say things like that to Gabriel. He felt hopelessly vanilla, despite what he'd already done with the man.

He stiffened as Gabriel stepped behind him, sliding his hands around Jack's crossed arms.

"Jack?" Gabriel chuckled and put his mouth next to Jack's ear, more breathing the words than speaking them, "Was this a booty call?"

"What? No... I... " Gabriel ground his hips against Jack's ass, and Jack's brain locked up completely. Gabriel was hard as a rock and Jack groaned, "Uh... maybe?"

Gabriel laughed and grabbed Jack's hand, pulling him away from the wall, and started tugging him down the path, off the bridge.

"Gabriel..."

"Shush. Come on."

Gabriel led him through the Park, along twisting paths wrapped around trees and shrubberies, statues and fountains and islands of grass. It was still fairly early and there weren't many people around. Jack found himself holding his sweatshirt down over his crotch any time they passed someone.

Finally, after a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, Gabriel pulled Jack into a quiet alcove of green, almost completely secluded from the paths that ran through the park. He pushed Jack roughly against a tree, knocking the breath out of him, then pressed the full length of his body against Jack's, sliding his hands down to pull Jack's hips tight against his.

Jack groaned as Gabriel's hard cock rubbed against his, and slid his arms around Gabriel's neck, their lips meeting in a hungry kiss. Jack's heart began to pound and he felt dizzy, or maybe drunk. He slid his tongue into Gabriel's mouth and moaned when Gabriel sucked on it, then nipped at Jack's lower lip.

Gabriel continued to grind against Jack's hips, panting hot into Jack's mouth, his voice a low, husky whisper.

"That song... You really want me to fuck you, don't you..."

"Among other things," Jack's voice was tight with need, equally breathless.

"I thought you might want to be in a bed our first time." Gabriel shifted his grip on Jack's hips, curling his fingers down across his ass, squeezing and separating Jack's cheeks under the fabric. Jack's heart skipped a beat and he moaned. _Our first time?_

"You thought about that?"

Gabriel only hesitated a fraction of a second before he replied, "Yes... often."

Jack groaned deep in his chest. "I just want you. I don't care where we are."

Gabriel licked into Jack's mouth, then nuzzled at his ear, "We're here. That okay?"

_Someone might see. I want someone to see. Someone might see. Who cares if anyone sees. No one will even know if we're quiet enough. I want everyone to know._

Jack's breath shuddered out of him explosively, "Yes... yes, it's okay."

Gabriel slid his hands up, and then down inside Jack's shorts and underwear, digging his fingers into Jack's ass. Jack groaned and huffed against Gabriel's neck, his cock aching. Gabriel dipped his knees slightly and came up against Jack in a slow undulating grind.

"You sure? Right here? Right now?"

"God yes. Please Gabriel. I... Please."

"Mmm. Since you asked so nicely..."

Gabriel hooked Jack's shorts and underwear with his thumbs and pushed them down off his ass, fingers sliding and groping as he went, dimpling Jack's skin with his grip. Jack shuddered slightly as the cool air blew across his skin, then groaned as Gabriel kept pushing down, until his shorts were a puddle at his feet. His sweatshirt was long enough that he was covered, or would have been, had Gabriel not rucked the fabric up as he stood. Jack's cock bobbed in the open air and he blushed, thinking about how close they were to the path.

Gabriel made a pleased humming noise and took Jack's cock in his hand, sliding his fingers gently along the soft skin, satin over an iron bar.

"Your cock is so pretty, Jack. It's amazing."

Jack blushed harder and mustered a stammered, "Th-thank you?" before closing his eyes, trembling as Gabriel slowly ran his hand up and down the length of his cock. He felt so sensitive he was afraid he'd cum without much effort.

"G-gabriel..." His voice held a note of desperation.

"Mhmm?"

"Please..."

Gabriel squeezed his cock rhythmically, causing Jack to gasp, precum beginning to drip from the head. He nuzzled against Jack's neck, licking salt from the skin on his neck, then nibbled at his earlobe as Jack actually whined.

"How long has it been for you, Jack?"

Jack only shook his head slightly and blushed more. It had been longer than he cared to admit, and now along with the ache in his cock was an almost desperate desire to be filled. He wanted Gabriel with a keen sharpness that he'd never felt, his heart racing, feeling almost like he was drowning.

"Shhh." Gabriel took his hand away from Jack's cock and Jack bit back another whine, his hips thrusting forward into nothing. Gabriel chuckled and lifted the bottom of his hoodie out of the way enough to unbutton and unzip his jeans, pulling his cock free. _No underpants, of course_.

Jack groaned low in his throat. The picture Gabriel had sent him before was nothing compared to the real thing, and he immediately reached out to curl his fingers around the thick shaft, testing the girth, the weight. He quivered in anticipation and looked into Gabriel's eyes as he slowly stroked.

"It's been a while," he said softly. The corner of Gabriel's mouth lifted in that smirk-smile he'd given Jack on the subway, and he reached into one of his jacket pockets, coming out with a small packet of lube.

"Good thing I came prepared, huh?"

Jack's eyes widened and he whispered a hoarse "Oh my God" as he realized that Gabriel had planned for this. He hooked his hand around Gabriel's neck and pulled him into a rough, messy kiss, licking and biting at his tongue and lips as Gabriel did the same to him. Gabriel slid a hand down Jack's thigh and pulled his leg up, resting it against his hip, causing their cocks to rub against each other. He quickly tore the packet open and took some lube on his fingers, then reached beneath Jack's leg to press his slick fingers against Jack's hole, kissing him all the while.

Jack cried out, muffled by Gabriel's mouth, simultaneously trying to push down against Gabriel's fingers and thrust forward against his cock. Gabriel pushed one finger slowly inside, then another, slowly scissoring them and causing Jack to writhe and moan helplessly, especially when Gabriel's fingers brushed tantalizingly close to Jack's prostate.

Jack couldn't take it any more. He broke the kiss and pleaded with Gabriel, his voice pitching higher with need.

"Please, please... Gabriel... please..."

"All right, chico... " Jack wondered if he imagined the slight tremble in Gabriel's voice. Gabriel slid his fingers out of Jack's ass, then applied the rest of the lube to his thick cock. Jack twitched for a moment, unsure of where to position himself, but Gabriel took the decision away from him by bodily lifting him and slamming him against the tree. Jack yelped and instinctively wrapped his legs around Gabriel's waist. _How the fuck was he so strong?_

Gabriel grinned and supported Jack with his hands cupped under his ass, spreading his cheeks. Jack moaned as the broad, blunt head of Gabriel's cock probed at his ass. He wasn't ready, but he was so ready. Finally he felt Gabriel settle in the right spot and he looked into his eyes and nodded, biting his lower lip. Gabriel slowly lowered Jack down onto his cock, halting every few moments to remind Jack to breathe, until he was completely buried. He paused, looking at Jack with some concern.

Jack huffed and groaned in pants, his ass feeling perfectly, deliciously full, twitching around Gabriel's huge cock. He closed his eyes and draped his arms around Gabriel's shoulders, until he started to relax. He nodded and opened his eyes again, looking back into Gabriel's amber eyes.

"Move... " he breathed, and Gabriel did, bracing Jack against the tree, and slowly beginning to thrust up into him. Jack groaned and dropped one hand down to his cock, stroking it in time with Gabriel's thrusts.

"Jesus, Jack... do you have... any idea how good you feel." Gabriel's voice was taut with hissed breaths. "I've wanted this..."

Jack groaned, feeling his climax building already, amplified by the knowledge that at any moment, someone could look the right way through the greenery and see him pinned against the tree, with Gabriel's hips moving in an unmistakable way, even if he did still have all his clothes on.

"Gabriel... please... I'm gonna cum already. Please just... just fuck me."

Gabriel groaned and bit back a curse as he began rutting hard into Jack, his cock slamming into Jack's ass hard enough to make his flesh ripple. Jack nearly sobbed, his vision whiting out as Gabriel's powerful thrusts set his nerves alight. He gripped his cock hard, trying to hold back just a little longer, but it was hopeless. Dimly he felt Gabriel's mouth slam down over his, swallowing his cry of pleasure. A moment later he felt rather than heard that deep grunt of release, and Gabriel's incredible cock began to pulse deep in his ass. He barely had enough sense to angle his cock slightly to the side as he came, spurting several white ropes of fluid into the air to land on the ground nearby.

Gabriel continued to kiss Jack even after he'd finished, still bracing Jack against the tree, the kisses going from desperately hungry to something more relaxed, even sweet. Jack felt like he could kiss Gabriel forever, but he knew he'd have to come back to reality sooner than later. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Gabriel's, panting softly.

"This is the part I hate," murmured Gabriel, and shifted Jack slowly, his softening cock sliding wetly out of  Jack's ass. Jack winced and slid his legs down until he was standing again, his legs trembling. He blew out a breath, knowing that he was going to be sore later, but it was so worth it. He bent down to put his clothes back on, then stood up with a wince as he pulled his shorts up. He could feel some of Gabriel's cum dripping back out of his well-used ass, and awkwardly found a tissue in one of his pockets to tuck against his hole until he'd be able to clean up.

Gabriel, for his part, simply tucked his cock back into his jeans, then straightened his hoodie and jacket.

Jack laughed through soft breaths as his heart finally slowed to a more sedate pace.

"You look gorgeous, Gabriel."

"And you look fucked out, chico."

Jack smiled, "And whose fault is that?"

Gabriel tapped Jack on the nose, then grinned and leaned in to kiss him again, taking Jack's breath away momentarily. Despite the recent climax, Jack's cock still gave a feeble twitch at the warmth of Gabriel's mouth.

"Come on, you owe me breakfast," Gabriel said.

With that, Gabriel led Jack back out of the alcove, and the two walked side by side, shoulders, arms and hands brushing, as they headed back out of the Park in search of food. 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank  you Eyokeyo! (If you want to see the bigger version, you'll have to [go to their tumblr!](http://eyokeyo.tumblr.com/post/152098791218/slavetomyheadcanon-eyokeyo-i-read-this))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The" song - [Jose Nunez-Bilingual (Dirty Mix)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa7xEsFWpE8)


	5. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel takes Jack to Coney Island for a few hours of fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter: Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Public Sex, Mostly-clothed Sex, Fluff

Jack was deep in a dream when the phone rang. He reached out from underneath the covers and fumbled around for the phone on the night stand, trying not to disturb Ana, who was using his head as a cushion. Finally he captured the thing between his fingers and pulled it back into his warm, dark nest.

"N'yello?" Jack's voice was gravely with sleep and there was a pause before the reply came.

"Jack?"

A brisk warmth flooded through Jack's body and he smiled sleepily.

"Mmm good morning Gabriel."

"Morning, Jack? It's two in the afternoon! Why are you still in bed?"

"Mmh? Oh... Sorry, it's been a rough week at work." Jack stretched and gave a happy groan as several of his joints popped.

"Jack, quit making those noises or I'll forget what I was going to ask you."

Jack chuckled lowly, "Why, Gabriel, whatever do you mean?"

Gabriel laughed, "Jesus, chico, remind me not to wake you up anymore unless I'm there to savor it... Wait, is that purring?"

"Ana's using my head for a pillow."

Gabriel laughed, "Well, move her because you need to get up."

"Mmmmm whyyyyyy?" Jack whined,"It's nice and cozy and dark and I had a rough-"

"-week at work. I know, Jack. That's why I wanted to see if you wanted to go to Coney Island with me today."

Jack sat up so fast Ana gave an indignant squawk and shot him a filthy look with her good eye as she jumped down off the bed. He groaned because he knew she would probably leave him a hidden 'present' he'd have to find later on.

"Great, now Ana's mad at me."

"Well, you did say she hates everyone. So? Will you go?"

"Like... a date?"

"Yes, Jack," Gabriel replied patiently, but there was a slight trace of nervousness in his voice." I want to take  you on a date to Coney Island. You deserve it after the week you've had."

"Then yes," Jack replied, formally. "I will attend the Island of Coney with you."

Gabriel snorted a laugh and Jack grinned, switching back to a more normal tone of voice. "I... uh I've never been."

Gabriel made a small _tsk_ noise, "Jack, how long have you lived here?"

"Five... uh... months?"

"Oh! That's all? Hmmmm so there's a lot I'll get to introduce you to."

Jack smiled at the eager glee in Gabriel's voice.

"As long as it doesn't involve huge crowds, okay?"

"Well..." Gabriel said hesitantly, "It can get crowded at Coney... If you'd rather..."

"Is it people just packed in a group or are people moving and there's traffic flow and stuff?"

"Oh, definitely moving."

"I'll be okay, then," Jack could almost hear the questions churning in Gabriel's head. "Shall I meet you there?"

"Yeah, can you make it by 4?"

"I should be able to."

"Okay, see you soon!"

"Yeah, bye!"

Jack thumbed the phone off and flopped back on the bed, grinning like a fool.

* * *

"I can't believe you actually DROVE here, Jack. Why do you even have a car?" Gabriel asked, carefully holding Jack's ride wristband around his wrist and pressing the sticky part to the paper without catching any of Jack's arm hair.

Jack blinked, "You don't?"

Gabriel laughed, "Jack, I don't even have my license yet. I haven't needed it."

Gabriel sat on a low retaining wall near one of Coney Island's famous rides, the Cyclone. His boot-clad feet dangled and he dropped his hands between his knees after he finished with Jack's wristband. Jack sat next to him, looking at him with a mixture of awe and disbelief.

"So you've never just... driven somewhere?"

"This is New York, Jack. The only time I leave the city is to go home to visit my family and I can't drive to do that."

"Huh... and that's typical?"

"Yeah. In this city," he grinned and tapped Jack on the nose, " _you're_ the oddity."

Jack captured Gabriel's finger on the way back and gave the tip a little kiss.

"Well, I hope my deviant addiction to driving doesn't turn you off."

Gabriel laughed, the full-throated kind that made Jack's heart flutter in his chest. Gabriel leaned conspiratorially over to Jack and murmured in his ear, "Honestly, Jack, I'm not sure there's much you could do that _would_ turn me off."

Jack blushed scarlet which only set Gabriel off more while Jack tried to rub the blush out of his face, chuckling. Finally Gabriel got himself under control, and hopped off the wall, nudging Jack with his arm, "Come on, let's go ride the Cyclone."

They ended up riding it twice, once while sitting in the middle of the train, and then a second time in the coveted front row of the front car. Jack alternated between holding his hands up and clinging desperately to the side of the car as it shook and rattled over the old wooden track, sure that at some point it would go flying off the rails, while Gabriel kept his arms up the whole time (after making sure his beanie was securely on his head), yelling excitedly down every hill.

When the car came to a stop the second time, they tumbled out breathlessly, laughing.

"My butt is numb," Jack complained as he rubbed his rear.

Gabriel reached behind him and gave Jack's ass a hearty squeeze, "Feels fine to me!"

Jack yelped and swatted Gabriel's hand playfully away. They meandered down the road past the area that had the bulk of the carnival rides, then stepped out onto the board walk. They walked along the wooden slats, shoulders barely touching, occasionally brushing the backs of each other's hands with their own. Jack took a deep breath of the salty sea air and sighed happily.

"It's weird," Jack said.

"Hmm?"

Jack stopped and leaned his elbows on the railing, looking out over the beach to the ocean beyond, green-grey under the hazy sunlight.

"It looks different than the Pacific. I don't know why, but it does."

Gabriel stepped next to Jack, pressing his arm and lower leg against Jack's.

"You know, you're right. I never really paid attention."

"Where are you from, Gabriel?"

Gabriel smiled, "Los Angeles. Almost my whole family lives there."

"Huh, a California boy. So do you know how to surf?"

"Jack!"

"What? I'm just asking."

"That's so stereotypical."

Jack smiled sheepishly, "You're right, sorry."

Gabriel leaned into him and when Jack turned his head to look at him, gave Jack a quick kiss. "I do know how, though."

Jack laughed and Gabriel grinned, "You're a little shit, Gabe."

"Sometimes, yeah. Hope that's okay."

"I dunno," Jack teased, drawing out the 'o' sound. "I'll have to think about it."

"Now who's being a shit!"

Jack grinned and slid his arm around Gabriel's shoulder, pulling him close and kissing his temple. "I am. I am totally guilty of this thing of which you accuse me."

Gabriel leaned against Jack for a moment, sighing, then straightened and tugged on Jack's arm, "Come on. There's more I want to show you."

They resumed their walk, both smiling, both sneaking glances at each other. Jack felt ridiculously giddy, like he was a teenager. Gabriel brought more happiness into his life than he cared to admit. It was heady stuff.

"Oooh, cotton candy!" Jack nudged into Gabriel's shoulder, his smile growing broader, "I haven't had that in years."

"Well, come on, papi. Let's get you a treat."

If Jack had a tail, it would have been wagging as Gabriel stepped over to the vendor and purchased one of the paper cones piled high with pink fluff. He pulled a piece off and carefully folded it into his mouth, then winked at Jack.

"Here, enjoy," he said, handing the the cotton candy to Jack.

Jack laughed delightedly, and the pair continued on their way. Jack looked this way and that, trying to take in all the sights and sounds, not to mention smells, of the boardwalk. The number of people alone generated a low buzzing hum, coupled with shrieks on the wind from people on rides, clanging and buzzing from games, all overlaid with the kind general mayhem of the carnival atmosphere. Jack could smell fried things, sweet things, savory things. His mouth watered even though he wasn't particularly hungry, and he ate another piece of cotton candy.

"You look like a tourist, Jack," said Gabriel, teasingly. "You're trying to look everywhere at once."

"Well, it's a new experience," he replied, nudging his shoulder against Gabriel's again as he pulled bits of spun sugar off and popped them in his mouth.  "It's not like I don't spend most of my time at the office."

Gabriel tugged pieces off here and there, always carefully folding the candy into his mouth so it didn't stick in his goatee.

Jack's eyes lit up as he spotted something interesting.

"Ooh, carnival games! Mind if we have a look?"

Gabriel smiled at Jack's excitement, "Of course!"

Jack grinned and they headed down the row, Jack examining the stalls and games as they passed. Darts and balloons, bags of sad goldfish, rigged milk-bottles with softballs, ring tosses, squirt gun races and bottle cap tosses. They had everything. It wasn't until they got to the last stall that Jack stopped dead in his tracks, looking at the giant... somethings... that were hanging from the eaves. They were easily three feet across, with a smiling face and green... tentacles? Leaves? Jack couldn't tell.

"Gabe... what the hell is that?"

"Huh? Oh, it's a pachimari."

"A pahchee-what?"

"A pachimari."

"It looks like an onion and a squid had a baby."

"Well, you're not too far off. It's a turnip and a squid."

Jack slowly turned to look at Gabriel, incredulous.

"How do you even know this?"

Gabriel shrugged and laughed, "I have a big family with a lot of nieces and nephews."

"You want one?"

"What?"

Jack pulled a piece of cotton candy off the paper and offered it to Gabriel, who obediently opened his mouth.

"Do. You. Want. One?"

Jack popped the pink fluff into Gabriel's mouth, who narrowed his eyes playfully and closed his lips around Jack's finger, giving it a suck and a lick before letting Jack pull it free. Jack huffed and bit his lip, then gave Gabriel a wink and turned to examine the simple set-up of the game.

The back of the booth was deeper than most on the row, and consisted of a large rectangle of canvas cut with four different sized holes that had canvas strips hanging down, fluttering in the wind. The largest hole won the smallest prize, some kind of vaguely bean-shaped stuffed characters, while the smallest won the biggest prize, the pachimari. A row of footballs sat along the counter, next to a sign proclaiming "JUST $3 A THROW".  He handed the cotton candy to Gabriel, took out his wallet, fished three dollars out, and set the money on the counter in front of a bored-looking college-age kid who snapped her gum at him.

He picked up a football, made a show of hefting it and rolling it around in his hands, and threw it in the general direction of the smallest hole. It bounced off the canvas and Jack hummed to himself, then took another 3 dollars out of his wallet.

"Jack, come on. You don't have to waste your money."

Jack smiled at Gabriel and picked up another football, rolled it between his hands and set it back down, then picked up another one. He tossed it in the air slightly and then threw it down the length of the booth, where it, too, bounced off the canvas.

"Really, Jack. You can't win this, it's rigged. Look how small that hole is. Nobody can make that."

Jack pulled off another piece of cotton candy and offered it to Gabriel, who opened his mouth for it. "Give me a kiss for luck, then," Jack said, putting the candy in Gabriel's mouth.

Gabriel grinned and tapped Jack on the nose. "Come and get one, then."

Jack leaned in and kissed him softly, teasing Gabriel's lips with his tongue until they parted and Jack was able to gently lick into Gabriel's candy-sweet mouth. He felt Gabriel's shuddering breath and low sigh against his cheek as they kissed, tongues slowly dancing across each other. His heartbeat sped up and he lost track of himself until the worker cracked her gum especially loud and brought Jack back to earth. He opened his eyes to Gabriel's amused, slightly heated amber gaze before turning and putting another three dollars on the counter in front of the worker, who looked equally annoyed and flustered.

Jack picked up the football he'd rejected for the second toss and hefted it, turning it until the laces were under his fingers. He gave Gabriel a wink, then took a step back from the counter, turning his body slightly as he brought the football close to his chest. Taking a breath, he brought his arm up and out, and threw the football, which made a perfect spiral as it smoothly sailed down the length of the booth and entered the smallest hole.

He grinned and pumped his fist, "Nailed it!"

Both Gabriel and the kid were staring at him with their mouths open. Jack pointed up to one of the smiling pachimari and said, "I'd like this one, please."

The girl grabbed a pole with a hook on the end and took the plush down, still gaping at him. He turned to Gabriel, took the cotton candy from him and gently pushed the giant pachimari into his arms. Gabriel continued to look at him with wide eyes.

Jack shrugged and smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Star quarterback, high school varsity football."

Gabriel looked at the plush and looked at him, then laughed so hard he had to wipe tears from his eyes. As far as laughs went, Jack thought he was doing pretty good with his initial thought of making sure Gabriel had a good one as often as he could. Was it possible to be addicted to a sound? Jack definitely thought so.

He grinned and inclined his head, "Shall we?" He'd seen some carnival rides he wanted to go on, especially now that the sun was beginning its descent. Gabriel slowly settled and smiled at Jack fondly.

"You're really something, Jack. What other surprises do you have hidden up your sleeve?" Gabriel asked as they walked.

"I guess you'll have to stick around and find out."

Gabriel made a show of clutching at his chest awkwardly around the giant pachimari. "Oh no, what a terrible prospect!"

Jack leaned in and stole a quick kiss from Gabriel before nodding to the rides.

"Ferris wheel?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Gabriel chuckled in reply, "Sounds fun."

They finished the cotton candy before they got to the Wonder Wheel and got in line. Jack stood behind Gabriel and slid his arms around him, underneath the plush. Gabriel made a happy humming noise and leaned back slightly as they shuffled along in line.

"I think we'd better go on the stationary ones," Gabriel said. Jack nodded in agreement, not particularly liking the way the swinging cars slid back and forth on their tracks.

Finally it was their turn to board, and they sat together on one side, with the pachimari on the other. The car finally rose up and they were treated to a spectacular view of the sunset, shimmering in gold and pink through the clouds and across the water. Jack sighed happily and looked at Gabriel, who smiled at him.

Jack flushed a little and traced his fingers along Gabriel's hand, before Gabriel turned his palm and twined their fingers together.

"I'm having a lot of fun, Jack," he said, bringing their hands up to kiss the back of Jack's hand.

"Me too," Jack replied, bringing his free hand up to stroke down Gabriel's cheek briefly, before sliding his hand behind Gabriel's neck and pulling him closer for a languid, unhurried kiss. Gabriel slid his free hand up Jack's arm and up under the sleeve of his t-shirt to stroke slowly against the skin of Jack's shoulder.

Jack felt heat bloom under Gabriel's touch and he must have made some kind of noise because Gabriel broke the kiss and looked at Jack knowingly.

"Like that?" He breathed, stroking his fingers further under Jack's shirt along his deltoid muscle and onto his back. Jack nearly arched his back into the touch like a cat, making a small pleased moan.

"I like it because you're doing it," he replied, resting his forehead against Gabriel's, feeling little tremors travel down his spine.

"I'll have to remember that for future use," Gabriel said softly, continuing to trace slow spirals on the parts of Jack's back that he could reach. Jack groaned softly, dropping his hand to Gabriel's leg and squeezing gently, then dragged his nails across the denim. He pressed his lips against Gabriel's again in a decidedly hungrier kiss, feeling a little dizzy as he felt blood rushing to his groin.

The Ferris wheel stopped with their car at the peak, but the beautiful view was wasted on Jack and Gabriel, who kissed each other with growing heat, fingers roaming and touching wherever they could reach. Gabriel broke the kiss, panting, when the car started to descend back towards the earth.

"We should probably stop unless you want to get kicked out."

Jack groaned, "Would that be so bad?"

Gabriel grinned and Jack kissed him again, still heated, but with a bit more restraint.

"You're right, just let me... " Jack grimaced and unbuttoned his jeans, quickly adjusting himself so his hard-on wasn't _quite_ so obvious. Gabriel, on the other hand, huffed a little and said, "Gimme that thing" and pointed at the plush.

Jack reached across the car and grabbed the pachimari, handing it back to Gabriel with a sly grin.

Gabriel laughed, "What?"

"Good thing I won you the biggest one, otherwise you'd have a hard time hiding that."

Jack stared into Gabriel's eyes as he deliberately reached down and squeezed Gabriel's thick erection through his jeans, stroking and fondling him as he groaned. "Keep it up and we _will_ get kicked out," Gabriel huffed.

Jack grinned and pulled his hand back, leaving Gabriel slightly flushed and breathless, clutching the pachimari to himself like a life preserver. Jack twitched the bottom of his t-shirt out as the car came to a stop at the bottom and the attendant opened the door. They stepped out and moved back to the boardwalk.

"Tease," whispered Gabriel as they started walking again. Jack hummed in agreement, smiling.

* * *

The sun was down completely, the sky deep purples and pinks, when Jack heard a very familiar sound echoing down the side of a building. His eyes went wide and he said, "Is... is that go-karts?! I love those things! I used to be really good at them."

Gabriel smiled and shook his head. "Jack," he said gently, "are you _sure_ you're 40?"

"Pretty sure. The grey hair matches up, anyway."

Gabriel peered at Jack's head, "What grey hair?"

"It's there, promise."

Gabriel narrowed his eyes skeptically, "If you say so."

They headed for the bright glow of the lights over the go-kart track, Jack getting more excited with each step as the puttering whines grew louder. He turned his head to grin at Gabriel and caught the other man gazing warmly at him before Gabriel quickly schooled his face into a more neutral expression.

After a minute or two of arguing with the attendant to guard the enormous turnip-squid, Gabriel and Jack folded themselves into the tiny karts. Jack tried not to bang his knees on the steering wheel as he sat in the rattling kart, waiting for the go. The light changed and they raced off, dodging and veering around other drivers, laughing as they played leap-frog passing one another in turn. Gabriel passed Jack for the third time and called back to him.

"Come on Jack, I thought you said you were GOOD!"

Jack could hear Gabriel's laughter over the lawnmower grind of the go-kart engine. He bit his lip and shrugged, then let himself slip slightly into the competitive headspace that had served him well over the years in many aspects of his life. It required a certain amount of discipline mixed with a disconnect that allowed him to focus on the end goal without being distracted. This, coupled with his experiences in high school, left him with a natural desire to win no matter the odds.

His focus narrowed to his own kart and the track in front of him, and he immediately went on the pursuit. He hugged the curves, accelerating out of the turns, and drove with a kind of ferocious joy despite the so-called childish nature of the act.

He aggressively drove for a narrow gap between Gabriel and a curve and zipped past him on the inside, allowing a slight smile at the corner of his mouth at Gabriel's surprised laugh. For the rest of the laps, he never allowed Gabriel to pass him again. At one point he looked over at Gabriel as he zipped around a hair-pin curve, and whatever it was the other man saw on his face made Gabriel's jaw drop in surprise. Good. He had warned him, after all. Come to think of it, all the touching and kisses throughout the afternoon, especially on the Ferris wheel, had left him wanting Gabriel with a slow burn that made his gut ache. He wanted to conquer Gabriel in more ways than one. The sooner he won this race, the sooner he could find a quiet place to bend the man over.

He came in first, of course, and unfolded himself from his kart with a satisfied smirk and stepped away from the track. Gabriel stood up a few karts back and stretched his legs, and Jack's gaze was drawn to his thighs and ass. Jack felt the desire flare up into something fierce, and hungrily dragged his eyes up the length of Gabriel's body, until he finally met the other man's gaze.

Gabriel looked a bit taken aback as he walked closer, "Um... Jack? You okay? You... that's an intense look."

Jack leaned his cheek against Gabriel's for a moment as his heart started slamming against his ribcage, and murmured a barely restrained "Let's go..." into his ear.

Gabriel looked at him, surprised, but then gave him a quick smile and picked up the pachimari, swinging it onto his shoulder like the world's most ridiculous parrot. Jack steered them away from the noise and lights, heading down the boardwalk past the stadium and into the parking lot beyond, where his car was. With each step, he felt himself grow harder in anticipation, until even the slight movement of the fabric against his cock as he walked was sending little shocks of pleasure through his groin.

Jack felt like heat was coming off him in waves. His cheeks and ears were hot and he kept scanning from side to side as they walked through the parking lot towards Jack's car. His cock ached in his jeans, and he looked over at Gabriel, feeling a surge of desire when the other man met his eyes. Gabriel licked his slightly parted lips, staring back at Jack through slightly lidded eyes.

Finally, they reached Jack's car, parked just outside the range of the tall, overhead lights. He promptly unlocked it and popped the trunk, then took the pachimari from Gabriel and set it inside, then closed the trunk and turned to look at Gabriel.

"Jack, wha-"

Jack surged forward, capturing Gabriel's face between his hands and kissing him hard, pushing him back against the rear passenger door. Gabriel grunted softly as his back hit the car, but immediately slid his hands around Jack's waist, holding him tight. Jack rocked his hips against Gabriel's thigh, bringing a surprised moan to Gabriel's throat as he felt the hard bar of Jack's cock press against him.

Jack's kisses were almost savage. He bit and licked Gabriel's lips and then licked into his mouth, drawing Gabriel's tongue back into his own mouth and sucking on it, causing Gabriel to moan again. He felt dizzy with need and desire. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever wanted someone as badly as he wanted Gabriel.

He broke the kiss, panting hard against Gabriel's mouth, then ducked his head to lick against the line of Gabriel's throat, feeling his pulse beating rapidly under his tongue. Gabriel tasted like sunshine and sweat and the ocean. Jack wanted to lick every inch of him. He settled for nibbling at Gabriel's earlobe then whispered hotly into his ear, "Let me fuck you."

Gabriel shuddered in his arms and groaned, reaching down to cup Jack's cock through his jeans. He squeezed and stroked Jack through the denim, then dragged his blunt fingernails across the fabric over Jack's balls. He looked around, then nodded. Jack kissed him hard again, their teeth clicking off each other in his urgent need to taste Gabriel's mouth. He pulled Gabriel forward off the car, then twisted them both to the side out of the way of the back door as as he fumbled for the handle, pulling it open as he continued to devour Gabriel's mouth.

Finally he broke the kiss, leaving them both flushed and panting.

"Jack, this..." Gabriel looked around. While they weren't exactly out in the open, they weren't as hidden as the day in the park, either. "Are you sure?"

Jack reached down and stroked Gabriel's thickness through his jeans, "Yes, if you are."

Gabriel gave him a smoky gaze through slightly lowered eyelashes, "What do _you_ think, papi?"

Jack gave him a quick kiss, tugging Gabriel's lower lip gently between his teeth, then slowly turned Gabriel around in his arms until he was pressing against Gabriel's delectable ass. He reached up under Gabriel's shirt and splayed his fingers across his heated skin, kissing the nape of his neck. Gabriel groaned as Jack's fingers found his nipples and gently flicked and squeezed them. All the while, Jack slowly rocked his hips, pressing his hard shaft against the swell of Gabriel's cheeks.

Finally Jack had enough of dragging his fingertips over Gabriel's skin, and slid his left hand down to unbutton Gabriel's jeans and open his fly one-handed. He ran his hand down inside with no hesitation and curled his hand around Gabriel's cock, stroking it firmly. Gabriel shuddered under his hand and he nipped at Gabriel's neck, then licked against the curve of his ear.

"I've never wanted anyone the way I want you, Gabriel," he whispered. It felt like a sinful confession, and the way Gabriel's cock twitched in his hand when he said it only made his desire greater.

Gabriel's voice was rough around the edges when he finally replied.

 "That makes two of us, then."

He hugged Gabriel tight to his chest, ignoring the way his heart skipped a beat, then let go of Gabriel's cock and pointed down into the back seat.

"Elbows there," he rasped, and Gabriel obediently bent over onto the seat, his feet still firmly on the asphalt. Jack dragged Gabriel's jeans down, exposing his plush ass to the air. Gabriel looked over his shoulder at Jack, giving him a decidedly wanton look, and Jack felt his cock throb as their eyes met.

He bit his lip and sucked in a breath, then grabbed two handfuls of Gabriel's ass, squeezing and kneading the muscles as he gazed heatedly into Gabriel's eyes, until Gabriel finally moaned and dropped his head. Jack bent over and planted a kiss on each cheek, then dipped his tongue into one of the dimples on Gabriel's lower back, then the other.

He straightened up and unbuttoned his jeans, finally freeing his aching cock from the confines of the fabric, pulling it away from the sizeable wet spot in his cotton underwear. He fished a packet of lube out of his pocket and tore it open. Gabriel laughed softly when he realized what Jack had done.

Jack shook his head with a little smile and gave his length a few firm strokes, then spread the lube on the head.  Jack gripped his cock and rubbed the tip across Gabriel's tight hole, teasing him as he slicked the muscle.

Gabriel groaned, "Jack..."

Jack chuffed softly then slowly pushed his hard cock into Gabriel's ass, the sinful heat making him close his eyes and moan low in his throat. He penetrated Gabriel in one long, slow movement, until his hips were flush against Gabriel's ass. Gabriel sighed and clutched at the side of the back seat, bracing back against Jack as he began to move within him.

Jack cast a look around and, satisfied they were alone enough, began drawing back and thrusting hard, one hand on Gabriel's hip, the other on top of the car. Gabriel's soft grunts and groans were music to his ears as he drove his cock deep into Gabriel's ass, carried away by the sensations of the tight, slick heat surrounding him.

A car a handful of rows in front of him lit up as someone unlocked it at range, and Jack slowed his thrusts, causing Gabriel to whimper. He continued to fuck Gabriel slowly until he'd identified the driver, a young man wearing the outfit of an attendant at the park. He picked up the pace again and Gabriel groaned, causing the  young man to turn his head, briefly looking in Jack's direction. He blinked, then did a double-take as he saw the shadowy figure of Jack leaning with one arm on top of the car. Jack smirked, grabbed Gabriel's hips with both hands and gave him several particularly hard thrusts, making him cry out and clutch at the back seat. The other man tilted his head slightly and Jack stared defiantly at him, watching the confused play of emotions on the other man's face as he ran the gamut of _is he_ or _isn't he_ and then _oh my god I think he is_.

Jack let out a breath as a flush crept onto the other man's face. He seemed frozen, one hand on the car handle but not moving otherwise. Watching. Jack bit his lip, then ducked down unto the car.

"Gabriel..." he said, panting as he continued to thrust. "We have company..."

"Good c-company or bad company?"

Jack gripped Gabriel's hips and walked him backwards enough so that he could pull Gabriel upright, then wrapped one arm around his chest. The beanie was lost somewhere on the back seat and Jack slid his other hand into Gabriel's hair and tugged firmly, directing his face in the right direction.

"That kind of company."

The young man's face was a sight. There was a blush clearly visible across his cheeks, and his lips were parted. He stood, frozen, with one hand on the door handle and the other twitching near his crotch like he wasn't sure if he wanted to grab it, or run.

Jack took another look around and gave Gabriel another hard thrust, making him groan and causing their observer's eyes to widen. Gabriel shuddered and Jack felt his body contracting around his cock in slight pulses as he came, spattering the back seat with his cum. Jack leaned forward and took hold of Gabriel's shoulder in his teeth, near his neck, muffling his groans as his cock throbbed and he came deep in Gabriel's ass, ignoring the observer in favor of wrapping his arms tightly around Gabriel as he spurted into him.

Jack shook off the last shudders, holding tight to Gabriel's panting torso, then opened his eyes in time to see the other guy's blush deepen as he hastily climbed into the car, started it, and drove away. Jack kissed the spot where he'd bitten Gabriel, and grinned at the idea that the observer might have something to take care of when he got home.

_Or sooner._

Jack turned his attention back to Gabriel, who was languidly rocking back and forth on Jack's still-hard cock, making him shiver. He ran his hands up and down Gabriel's back, and pulled free of his body reluctantly. Gabriel turned and faced him, his cheeks flushed and sweaty. Jack took the opportunity to card his fingers through Gabriel's hair, tugging gently. Gabriel closed his eyes and groaned softly. Jack was entranced by the way his dark lashes lay against his flushed cheeks, and impulsively kissed both eyelids, before straightening up awkwardly when Gabriel opened his eyes to stare at him.

Jack slid his hands down to frame Gabriel's face and kissed him gently, then let go so he could tuck his cock back into his pants. Gabriel did the same, then took a shaky, shuddering breath. He turned away from Jack to lean in to the back seat, found his beanie, and came up again.

"Um... I can clean that up, if..."

Jack chuckled, "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it when I get home. Speaking of which," he gave Gabriel another kiss, "can I give you a lift home?"

"Oh... um... Thanks, but no. I'll take a ride to the subway, though?" he added, after Jack's face fell slightly.

"Yeah, I can do that."

They got in the car and Jack started it up, quickly turning the blaring radio down to a low murmur, and entered Gabriel's closest subway stop into his GPS. He took a glance at Gabriel, but the other man was looking out the window. He sighed turned his attention back to the road, a million thoughts racing through his head, not all of them good. A minute later, Gabriel threaded his fingers through Jack's.

"Jack..."

Jack looked over at Gabriel, half-smiling.

"You're thinking too hard. I just... I'm not ready for you to... to see where I live. It's nothing bad, I promise. Just something I have to..."

"Process?" asked Jack, smiling a bit more. His heart was beating so loud he was certain Gabriel could hear it.

Gabriel sighed and relaxed, "Yeah, exactly."

Jack relaxed too, and Gabriel didn't move his hand from Jack's until they got to the street where his subway stop was. He leaned over and gave Jack a hard kiss, taking Jack's breath away momentarily. "I had a great time. I'll talk to you soon."

Gabriel got out of the car and Jack popped the trunk. A moment later Gabriel closed the trunk and darted across the road clutching the ridiculous plush pachimari in his arms. He paused at the top of the stairs, turned back to Jack and gave a little wave.

Jack lifted his hand in return and watched Gabriel vanish down the stairs.

He turned the radio off and drove home in silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And what happened to the Coney Island attendant? Well, he wound up [over here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8524105)


	6. The Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has feels, Gabriel teaches Jack a bit about his culture, and Jack has more feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter: Panic Attacks, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Jack woke up slowly, dragging himself out less-than-pleasant dreams. He blinked sleepily in the early morning light and groaned. The dreams were already evaporating but left him with a sense of unease, almost like he was off-balance. For several minutes he lay in bed, watching the dust motes fly in the beam of sunlight shining through his window as he tried to think of nothing but ended up thinking of Gabriel.

He rubbed his face into his pillow and sighed. He wondered, again, what the hell he was doing with Gabriel. Were they 'friends'? Were they 'together'? Was this just an 'acquaintances with benefits' thing? Fuck buddies? What could he possibly offer Gabriel in a relationship? Did he even -want- a relationship after... after...

Jack's gut cramped and he groaned as his heart rate started to accelerate. He pushed the covers down and laid back against the pillow, trying to slow the breaths that were already starting to catch in his throat, leaving him with a sense of being suffocated. His head swam and he closed his eyes tight against the dizziness.

"Shit..."

His hands grew clammy and his face grew numb. He lifted a trembling hand to his brow, wiping away the cold sweat.

"Ana," he croaked, "c'mere sweetie. Bad time."

Ana appeared a second later, leaping onto his bed with a quizzical "prrt?" noise. She immediately walked onto to Jack and began sniffing at his face. She gave his face a lick, then settled on his chest and began purring loudly directly against his nose and mouth, her whiskers tickling his cheeks, slowly kneading her paws against his neck. Jack shuddered, trying to slow his breathing down in time with Ana's rhythmic purrs. He gasped back a sob as tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes.

_You're never going to be worth anything to anyone. You couldn't even keep me happy. Look what you made me do. This is why I didn't want you to come over! If you had been around more I wouldn't have had to find someone else._

Fundamentally, he knew it wasn't true, that none of it was true, but knowing and believing were two different things. Knowledge of the truth didn't help quiet that part of his brain that whispered at him about just how true it was, and that he was only going to make the same mistakes and have the same problems.

With more than a little effort, he dragged his thoughts out of the downward spiral and instead focused on thinking about his dream house, picturing it in his mind. He'd done this exercise many times, especially when anxiety got the better of him.

_Trees all around, the wind blowing through the leaves sounding like rushing water._

_Walk the path to the house, one foot in front of the other, listening to the leaves crunch underfoot._

His shaky breaths gradually began to slow down as Ana continued to purr and knead.

_The sunlight glinting off the lake beyond._

_The smell of the garden, the earth, the water, the smoke from the chimney._

Another hitching sob as Jack carefully breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth.

_The quiet and solitude that was alive with the sounds of the forest, the lake, the land._

_The door with the deer skull hung with sweetly chiming bells._

_The feeling of home._

He unclenched his fists and stroked Ana's back until she arched, lifting her hindquarters as his fingers found the spot at the base of her tail all cats seemed to love. Ana licked at his chin and cheeks, and he wiped a hand down his face, scrubbing away the tears as his heart finally slowed to a regular pace, shaking his fingers a bit to get some feeling back into them. He tried not to think about what would happen if Gabriel knew the truth of how messed up he really was.

He slowly sat up, carefully keeping Ana in his lap, and picked his phone up off the nightstand, turning it back on.

He stared at the voicemail icon for a moment before swallowing and pressing 'listen'. The call had come in at nearly midnight, long after he'd fitfully fallen asleep.

"Uhh... Hey, Jack."

Jack closed his eyes at the sound of Gabriel's voice, his heart giving an almost painful lurch in his chest.

"I guess you're asleep already. Um... I wanted to make sure you knew I was serious about having a good time tonight, so hopefully you'll check this when you wake up... "

There was a pause of several seconds, and Gabriel began speaking again, his tone softer than before. Listening to it caused a thin thread of heat to bloom in Jack's chest that curled into his stomach, not unlike the anxiety he was so familiar with.

"I really did have a great time, Jack. You are... " Gabriel sighed, "I can't explain it. Never mind."

Gabriel cleared his throat and his voice brightened as he spoke.

"Listen, I'm going to be super busy with work for couple days but I'll be free on the second. Well, sort of. I do have plans on the second but they're plans you can join me with. I mean, you can join me, if you want. It's not really a big thing but..."

Gabriel's voice dropped again.

"I'd really like to see you anyway. Talk to you soon, Jack."

Jack clutched the phone in his hand, feeling a turbulent mix of emotions he couldn't quite muddle through in his current state of mind. He listened to the voicemail again, and then a third time. He saved the message and then dialed Gabriel's number. He couldn't decide if he was happy or disappointed when it went straight to voicemail. He cleared his throat and left a quick message, proud of himself when his voice didn't shake or break, and even sounded chipper.

"Hey Gabriel. I'd love to see you anytime. Just tell me when and where. Talk to you later!"

He hung the phone up and picked Ana up, pressing his face into her fur before setting her gently back down on the bed, rubbing behind her ears.

"Thanks, sweetie. I'll get you some sashimi later, okay?"

She rubbed her face against his hand, then jumped off the bed and headed out the room. Jack pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and went to use the bathroom, then came back in and stared at his bed. After a moment's thought, Jack dragged his blanket off his bed and bundled it around himself as he tried to decide what to do with his day that wouldn't be too exhausting. He settled for laying down on the couch, putting the TV on some nature channel and zoning out, focusing on the documentaries and the soothing sound of Sir David Attenborough's voice instead of the jumble of thoughts and emotions in his head. He decided to call in sick to work for a few days.

 

* * *

 

Three days later, Jack's phone rang in the late morning. He reached a hand out of his blanket burrito, checked the caller ID and answered it, trying to sound more cheerful than he felt.

"Hey Gabriel, how's it going?"

"Hey! Are you busy? I didn't call at a bad time, did I?"

"No and no. I'm not at work right now so..."

"Everything okay?"

"Ehh... I'll be okay. Just... Sorry, I don't want to talk about it this particular second."

Gabriel's voice went soft, "Okay, Jack. Well, listen, I'm down in Brooklyn buying some marigolds for an altar and I was wond-"

"Wait, you're doing what?"

"Buying marigolds."

"Why are you buying marigolds?"

"For an altar? They're for Dia de Muertos."

Jack thumbed through the dusty pages in his brain that contained his high school Spanish class and came up with what he thought was the right answer, "That's... Day of the Dead?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"When is that?"

"Today!" Then Gabriel mumbled, "It's also my birthday."

"WHAT?! Gabriel, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Hey, sorry, it just slipped my mind. I don't usually celebrate it if I'm not at home so it's just another day." Gabriel's voice went slightly wary. "Also, I didn't want you to ask how old I was and then feel weird about it."

Jack sighed softly, feeling mixed emotions, "Oh Gabe, come on, I'm not like that. You know that, don't you? I'm not like that."

"I do now... I'm 35."

Jack mustered a smile and said, jokingly, "I did always like younger men."

"Ja-aack."

"What! It's true!"

"And what's going to happen when I'm old?"

Jack's heart skipped a beat as he had a very vivid vision of he and Gabriel sitting on a porch in rocking chairs, wearing ugly sweaters and yelling at kids to get off their lawn.

His own voice sounded strange in his ears when he answered, "You'll still be  younger than me."

"Hmph! Well. ANYWAY, I was going to see what you were doing when you got off work, but since you're not working, maybe you'd like to come with me when I set everything up?"

Jack was suddenly reminded that he hadn't showered in days, and as if on cue, the scraggly growth on his chin and cheeks started itching.

"Y-yeah, what exactly are we setting up, again?"

"It's going to be an altar celebrating the life of someone... ah... very important to me."

"Give me some time to get cleaned up. Where do I need to go?"

"Mount Zion Cemetery. I won't be over there for a bit but it's a bit farther for you than me."

"Huh. Okay. Let me get cleaned up and I'll meet you there."

"Okay, see you soon."

"Bye!"

Jack hung up the phone and stared at it, then googled "Dia de Muertos." By the time he was ready to get in the shower, he figured he had at least a partial grasp of what to expect. There was one thing in particular that fascinated him, something called _papel picado_. He chewed his lip and then wondered if the little panadería down the block might have some he could get.

 

* * *

 

It was nearing dusk by the time Jack found Gabriel leaning against a tree with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Had Jack been in a better mindset, he might have blushed at the memory of a different tree, but as it was, he just felt relieved to have finally arrived after the frustrations with the subway and taxi. Gabriel was dressed in his usual jeans, but had traded his fatigue jacket for something heavy and black that went halfway down his thighs and looked wonderful on him. The beanie was nowhere to be seen and Jack had a faint urge to run his fingers through Gabriel's hair.

Gabriel raised his hand as Jack approached, and smiled. Jack felt his heart lurch and smiled carefully back, then stepped close and twined his fingers into Gabriel's hand, noticing the three paper sacks at his feet, one of which looked like it was full of yellow and orange fluff.

"Hey," Gabriel's voice was gentle, and he tapped Jack's nose before brushing the backs of his fingers and thumb against his cheek. "Are you okay? You look rough."

Jack ducked his head into a kind of shrugging nod, "I'll be fine in a day or two. It's nothing."

He squeezed Gabriel’s hand and blurted, “Happy birthday,” trying to change the subject, and gave him a brief kiss.

Gabriel returned the kiss softly, but Jack could tell that he didn't exactly believe him, if the concern in his eyes was any sign, but he didn't press the issue and instead gestured to the bags.

"All our supplies. The grave we want is just over here."

Jack got a better look at the bags and saw that the one was full of marigolds. He grabbed that one and Gabriel picked up the other two, and the pair wove through headstones old and new. Jack realized that they were far from the only ones at the cemetery, and saw that some of the other gravesites had also been decorated with flowers and a multitude of other things, including the cut tissue paper he found so fascinating. Reminded, he stuck his hand into his jacket pocket to make sure the little package was still there.

Finally they arrived at a headstone of elegant marble, carved with a pair of pointe shoes at the crown. Jack read the name and date as Gabriel knelt and touched the stone, murmuring, "Hey Amélie, I miss you."

 **Amélie Lacroix**  
**Dancing Forever**  
**January 26, 1945 - October 16, 2014**

Jack looked at Gabriel curiously, clutching the bag of marigolds in front of him awkwardly. Gabriel fished his phone out of his pocket and thumbed across it. A moment later, elegant strains of violin music surrounded them; a song that tickled Jack's memory, as if he'd heard it before. Gabriel set the phone aside and turned to Jack.

"Okay, Jack. We're going to put the flowers all around the bottom of the headstone  and along the front in a small rectangle. This will help Amélie's spirit find her way here," he said, as he pulled a small white cloth out of a bag and opened it, laying it in front of the headstone, and sat down on the browning grass.

Jack sat next to him and placed flowers as Gabriel directed, his earlier anxiety soothed by the monotony of the process. Take a flower from the bag, place the flower into the pattern that Gabriel wanted. Take another flower, put it down. After a couple dozen flowers, Gabriel began speaking.

"She was my mentor, and kind of my adoptive mother. She had a dance school that my family managed to send me to when I was younger. I used to resent it because I thought they were trying to hide me away," Gabriel chuckled softly. "Turns out that parents really do know what they're talking about from time to time."

Jack nodded, thinking about his own parents, his father in particular. He frowned and focused his attention on Gabriel again.

"-- cane she used to threaten us with," Gabriel was saying.

Jack did a double take, "She what?"

"Oh, she'd bang it on the floor to keep time and use it to fix the position of our arms or legs when we were practicing, but sometimes she would threaten to hit us with it," Gabriel chuckled. "I can still hear her making such a ruckus with it. Bang bang bang! NON! AGAIN!"

Jack smiled at the way Gabriel's face lit up when he spoke about her.

"Gabriel! NON! Put your feet like SO," Gabriel imitated, affecting a passable French accent.

"She sounds like she was a great woman," Jack offered, fishing the last few flowers out of the bag, then carefully folding it up and putting it aside.

"She was. Here she is," Gabriel said as he pulled a framed photo out of a bag and hung it over the top of the headstone. Jack saw the photo was of a young woman wearing a white tutu and an elegant feathered headpiece. She was en pointe, her arms gracefully curled with her hands crossed delicately in front of her. Though he couldn't see her face clearly, he could tell she had a gentle smile.

"She was a ballerina," Jack said, stating the obvious.

"Yes, and she was extremely talented and well-loved. I was lucky to know her," Gabriel said, then brought a bag closer.

"And _she_ loved," he paused and began pulling items out out of the sack.

"Bread..." Gabriel produced a small loaf and set it in front of the headstone.

"Brie with raspberries..." A small wedge of cheese and jar of raspberry preserves joined the bread.

"Spiders."

Jack startled, "What?"

Gabriel chuckled, "She actually kept tarantulas as a hobby, aside from the dance school." He withdrew a small, plush spider and set it next to the food.

"Wine." Gabriel pulled a bottle of wine out of the bag along with two glasses, and set them all down on the altar.

Gabriel rummaged around in the last bag and began withdrawing small candles in glass jars, one after another, arranging them just so along the flowers and atop the headstone. He then pulled out a long lighter and lit them all, murmuring under his breath as he did so. The sky was rapidly going dark and the candles provided a warm, soothing glow.

Candles lit, Gabriel put the lighter away, then folded the bags up and stacked them on the one Jack had, standing up.

They stepped back and admired their handiwork, and then Jack smacked himself in the forehead. "I almost forgot!"

Jack felt through his pockets and pulled the little wrapped packet out. He smiled and held it out to Gabriel.

"Um... I dunno if this is... really appropriate, but, happy birthday anyway," he said, shyly.

Gabriel half smiled, cocking his head curiously and taking the package. He carefully picked at the wrapping paper, murmuring, "You didn't have to get... me... anything..." His words trailed off as he unfolded several intricately cut pieces of tissue paper, all with a skull and flowers motif.

Jack chewed his lip nervously and shifted from foot to foot.

"Jack..." Gabriel said, staring down at the _papel picado_ in his hands, "I... this... I don't know what to say. Thank you." He looked up at Jack and Jack saw that he was rapidly blinking away tears. Jack immediately stepped forward and gently placed his hands on Gabriel's cheeks, looking into those beautiful amber eyes.

"I didn't meant to make you cry, Gabriel."

"It's all right, Jack. It's just... it was very thoughtful of you."

He leaned his head forward to come to rest on Jack's shoulder, as Jack slid his hands around Gabriel's back, holding him quietly for a few moments.

"Amélie would have loved this," Gabriel said, his eyes shining, and stepped back from Jack to hang the delicate artwork across the top of the headstone, holding it in place with the candle jars. "This was her favorite color, too," he continued, tapping a particularly purple piece.

Gabriel stepped back and sat down near the headstone, stretching his legs out with a sigh. He smiled at Jack and reached over the marigolds to pick up the wine bottle, then produced a corkscrew from an inner pocket. Jack watched with interest as Gabriel expertly uncorked the wine and held it between his knees, then picked up the two glasses.

"Join me, Jack?" he asked, patting the ground next to him.

Jack bit his lower lip briefly, then nodded sitting down next to Gabriel so the length of their legs touched. Gabriel poured wine into both glasses and handed one to Jack. He smiled and held his up towards the headstone, "To my dear friend Amélie, who taught me that a dream worth having was a dream worth pursuing."

"I'll drink to that," murmured Jack, and gently clinked his glass against Gabriel's. He took a sip of the wine and enjoyed the bloom of warmth that traveled down his throat. Gabriel placed his free hand atop Jack's and the pair sat in silence, drinking and listening to the music wafting from Gabriel's phone. Jack could hear laughter and music coming from several other areas in the cemetery and wondered who they were celebrating. He drank some more wine and sighed.

"Hey," Gabriel murmured, squeezing Jack's hand.

Jack smiled and tipped his head to lean it against Gabriel's shoulder, "Hey."

"You're thinking again. What's going on? Want to talk about it?" Gabriel tilted his head so it rested against Jack's.

"Gabriel, do you think... would it be all right if... " He trailed off, uncertain.

"What is it?"

"I just... I lost my f-father around this time last year and I was wondering if it would be all right if we made an altar for him, too."

"Oh Jackie, is this why you're so blue?" The sympathy and concern in Gabriel's voice threatened to stab Jack through the heart. He sat up enough to finish off the glass of wine, then leaned back into Gabriel and nodded, feeling his throat tighten and not trusting himself to speak.

"Yes, definitely. I'd be happy to help you set something up at home."

 

* * *

 

It was late when they finally got back to Jack's apartment, and Jack was feeling very toasted. Gabriel was happy to find that the little panadería near Jack's brownstone was still open, and sold everything they needed for a small altar. He walked Jack through the purchases, explaining what everything was for, Jack nodding silently the entire time and trying to keep his head from spinning. It had been a long time since Jack had alcohol, and the bottle of wine they finished together in Amélie's honor had gone straight to his head.

Now Gabriel helped Jack clear off the top of a bookshelf to make room. Jack went to his closet and dug through a box until he found a picture of his dad. Before Jack's father had been a farmer, he'd been a soldier, and the black and white picture showed a smiling young man in Army dress uniform. Jack paused for a moment to swallow down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, before returning to Gabriel.

He set the picture on top of the shelf and the pair began to decorate around it. More marigolds, more candles, more _papel picado_. This time Gabriel added a little bowl of _pan de muerto_ , bread pieces shaped into bones. They worked in silence until the little altar was a riot of color and light.

"I wasn't there, at the end," Jack said, breaking the silence. "I knew it was going to happen but I couldn't get away from work in time. We hadn't seen each other in a couple years."

Jack let Gabriel gently lead him over to the couch, where Gabriel sat down and slowly pulled Jack onto his lap, cradling him so Jack's legs were down the length of the couch. Jack immediately curled his face into Gabriel's neck, fighting hard not to break down.

"My mom called me around three in the morning, said he was gone. My flight to go home left the next day," Jack's chest felt tight, his eyes burned. He was too old to break down like this, like a kid, and with Gabriel there too!

"Oh, Jack..." Gabriel's hand rubbed soothing circles against Jack's back, "It must have been terrible. I'm so sorry for you."

For a moment Jack didn't quite register what Gabriel said, his alcohol-hazed brain slow to process the words. Gabriel understood? Every time he'd tried to open up about this before to friends, he'd been met with varying degrees of "suck it up" and "you'll get over it" and "come on, you barely talked to him anyway" until he finally gave up and shoved the feelings down where he could pretend they weren't there. But Gabriel had just done the opposite, and Jack was so unprepared that he froze.

Gabriel seemed to sense the change because his hand paused, "Jack?"

Jack nestled his face closer into Gabriel's neck, his shoulders tense and shaking. Gabriel's hands resumed stroking up and down Jack's back.

"Jack, come on. I'm here, it's okay..."

Jack hitched a breath and then slowly crumbled in Gabriel's arms. His words came out in a torrent.

"I never got to tell him how much I appreciated and loved him. How much I valued his time. When he died and I went home, my mom and I found all this stuff from his past... I found all these things and I realized... I didn't know anything about my dad at all! It was like finding out he was an entirely different person."

Jack sobbed against Gabriel's neck, a year of untouched grief that couldn't be held back now that it had started.

"Y-you must think I-I'm awful, for n-neglecting my dad like that," Jack managed, his voice full of self-loathing.

Gabriel sighed and hugged Jack tighter, kissing the top of his head and speaking softly into his hair.

"No, baby, I don't think that at all. You're a human, not a robot. You're allowed to have emotions, even ones like this. Now, come on, let it out... I won't let you go."

Jack sagged against Gabriel's shoulder and cried for several minutes, struggling between feeling ashamed and feeling relief at finally being able to mourn, at least a little. Gabriel rubbed his back and murmured soothingly into his hair, until Jack's gasping sobs finally slowed into sniffles and hitching breaths.

Jack resisted when Gabriel turned him and slid a hand under his chin, forcing him to look up. He knew he was a wreck. His eyes hurt, his face was wet with snot and tears, and he couldn't meet Gabriel's eyes. His head still swam with alcohol and he felt uncomfortably warm.

"I'm gonna get up a minute, okay baby? I'm not leaving you, I promise," Gabriel said, and kissed Jack's forehead before carefully sliding Jack off of his lap. Jack sat there, feeling drained and exhausted, and barely heard the water running before it was turned off and Gabriel returned with a damp washcloth.

He carefully wiped Jack's face clean, the tenderness of the act bringing fresh tears to Jack's eyes. When his face was clean, Gabriel tapped him gently on the nose and kissed his forehead again. He took the cloth away and returned, carefully pulling Jack to his feet. Jack was so tired he closed his eyes, letting Gabriel guide him into his bedroom and gently push him down to sit on the bed. He kept his eyes closed and nodded when Gabriel asked if he could undress him, and limply let Gabriel lift and pull and tug until he was left in his underwear. The air chilled his skin only a moment before Gabriel pushed him over and he was tucked into his warm blankets. He couldn't think straight, struggled to get up for a moment, there was something important he had to tell Gabriel!

"Shh... It's okay Jack. Just rest..." Gabriel, his gorgeous Gabriel, was gently stroking the back of his neck and shoulders, soothingly. Jack fell asleep to the feeling of Gabriel's lips at his temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [KingLeo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KingLeo) for being my beta for this chapter <3


	7. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel takes Jack out to do some shopping, teaches him how to cook a meal, and then takes him to bed.

The dreams weren't the worst he'd had, but they still dragged him up to the edge of waking more than once, only to be soothed away by a warm, gentle voice and a hand stroking down his arm that allowed him to drift off again.

When Jack finally woke fully, he instinctively snuggled back against the warm body next to him, then jerked away and bit back a gasp of startlement, because there was a warm body next to him.

Gabriel's voice rumbled into his ear, "It's just me, Jackie."

Jack relaxed and rolled over, facing Gabriel, who lay on top of Jack's blanket, clad only in a snug pair of sweatpants and socks.

"Y-you stayed?"

Gabriel's eyes betrayed hints of an emotion Jack didn't want to think about... not yet, anyway. "I hope it's okay... I didn't want to leave you alone in that state."

Jack closed his eyes, rolling back away from Gabriel and curling in on himself in a self-loathing shudder.

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm stupid,” he said, brokenly. “I'm too old to behave like this."

"No, Jack, you don't have anything to apologize for. I don't think you're stupid at all." Gabriel reached up and caressed the spot where Jack's neck met his shoulder, lightly stroking spirals into Jack's skin. "I think... " Gabriel's voice softened, "I think you've kept things bottled up for a long time."

Jack made a soft keening noise, and Gabriel shifted, moving off the blanket so he could lift it and slide next to Jack. He slid his arms around Jack's chest, spooning him, and kissed the back of Jack's neck gently. Jack hung onto Gabriel's arms like they were a life preserver. "I'm so messed up, Gabe," he said, his voice choked, "Why would anyone like me?"

"It's okay, Jack. We're all a little messed up and anyway I like you just fine."

He bit back a sob, his shoulders and chest tense. Gabriel nuzzled against the back of Jack's head and murmured, "Jack, shhh... I'm here. But... if you're holding back for my sake, stop... I won't think badly of you."

Jack wheezed out another keen and shook his head, clinging tighter to Gabriel's arms.

Gabriel kissed the side of Jack's neck, murmuring in his ear, "Please, Jack. I promise you I won't stop... feeling what I feel. Okay? You're safe. Please, Jackie. Let go a little."

With an almost painful gasp, Jack let fall some of the tears he'd been holding back. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks. Gabriel pulled him tighter, and Jack could feel his chest rumbling as he hummed some old folk song to Jack. After a few minutes, Jack began to feel a little better. His heart still ached, but he'd at least released some more of the emotional pressure he'd held back for a year. It was another step in a long process.

He sighed shakily and gradually relaxed, the muscles in his shoulders buzzing as the tension ebbed. Gabriel's arms were still around him, and he stroked his fingers across Gabriel's warm skin, vaguely admiring the play of muscles underneath. Gabriel nuzzled into the little hollow behind Jack's ear, and Jack ducked his head and gave a short laugh, goosebumps trailing in the wake of Gabriel's hot breath. He rolled in Gabriel's arms to meet his beautiful amber gaze, heedless of his tear-streaked face and undoubtedly red eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered, not trusting himself to speak fully. Gabriel rubbed his back slowly, up and down, gazing into his eyes. Suddenly, he tilted his head and his hand stopped rubbing.

Jack blushed. He knew what was going to happen. First it was the noticing, then it was the questions.

"Jack, your eyes?"

"Here," said Jack softly, laying back so that his head was in the light from the window, his eyes well-lit, and Gabriel leaned close to him, staring. Jack knew what he was looking at. Deep in the sapphire blue of his eyes were flecks of emerald green and topaz, scattered like glass chips in an ocean.

"What...?" breathed Gabriel.

Jack blushed harder and looked away, "It's called heterochromia. With me it's a hereditary thing. My eyes have always been like this."

"Jack..." Gabriel leaned over to get back into Jack's line of sight, his gaze flicking between Jack's eyes. Finally he leaned down and whispered, "It's beautiful, you know."

Jack's jaw dropped slightly and Gabriel gave him a soft kiss before sliding back and off the bed. Jack watched Gabriel leave the room, still trying to process what he'd said. Jack was used to reactions ranging from teasing to ignoring to a shrugged, 'oh, that's cool', but no one had ever called it beautiful. Jack stared at the ceiling, listening to Gabriel as he stirred around. He heard a cabinet door open, then caught a muttered curse.

A moment later, Gabriel reappeared in the doorway, holding a can of high-quality cat food accusingly, "How is it your cat eats better than you? I was going to make breakfast but I forgot you don't actually keep real food in this apartment."

Jack smiled and stretched, "What? She deserves it!"

"And you don't? Come on, Jackie. Up you get. We're going shopping, and then I'm gonna teach you how to cook a meal today."

Jack groaned and pulled a pillow over his head, muffling his whine of protest, "Do I have to?"

Gabriel was silent for a moment, then walked and sat down next to Jack on the bed, putting his hand on Jack's.

"No, you don't have to... but I'd really like it if you did."

Jack peeked at Gabriel over the top of the pillow, meeting Gabriel's eyes and feeling a shiver of emotion run through his body.

"A-all right..." A moment later he blinked, "Wait, are those my sweatpants?"

Gabriel laughed and broke into a brilliant smile and that was the exact moment when Jack started to question the depth of his feelings for Gabriel.

 

* * *

 

A short taxi ride later, Gabriel was carefully steering Jack by his elbow into a bustling farmer's market full of stands and stalls packed with everything from apples to tuna. Jack stopped and blinked at the frozen tuna on display at a small fishmonger's truck, almost wanting to get some for Ana, before Gabriel tugged him a little and he started moving again.

"Now, Jack. I'm going to teach you something that is pretty easy to make, but will look impressive _and_ will give you lots of leftovers."

"But... Gabriel, I don't even have a pot," Jack said, craning his head around much like he'd done at Coney Island. He wasn't unfamiliar with produce, he just hadn't known it could be found like this in New York City.

"Don't worry about that, I got your back," he replied, thumbing through his phone and nodding to himself. "What's your exact address?" he asked, and Jack gave it to him automatically without questioning why. A moment later Gabriel nodded again, and put his phone away.

"Okay, we'll need to find a red onion about this big," he made a fist, "and three good-sized carrots."

They slowly wandered through the market, enjoying the crisp autumn air. Jack found himself walking closer and closer to Gabriel until he'd finally bumped into his arm, brushing his fingers against Gabriel's. Gabriel smiled and twined their fingers together, and Jack felt his heart give a little hiccup. Some of the tension that had built up again drained away, and he smiled in return. They meandered until they found a stall that had the items they wanted. Jack found a red onion and held it up, "Like this?" he asked, and Gabriel nodded, grabbing a small bunch of carrots, and a head of garlic.

Jack moved to pay but Gabriel cut him off, "Nuh-huh, this is my treat. If you want to repay me," he said, after Jack opened his mouth to protest, "you can pay attention and learn what I'm going to teach you."

Gabriel bought a couple more things at the market, including a half carton of fresh eggs and a bottle of red wine, before glancing at his phone and declaring they needed to get back to Jack's apartment. They caught a cab, and Gabriel had the driver stop at the end of the block so  Gabriel could pop into a little _bodega_ and buy some ground beef. Afterwards, he started walking with a purpose back towards Jack's building, so fast that Jack almost had to trot to keep up.

Jack gave him a bemused smile but didn't really think much of his urgency until they got back, and Jack discovered a large package waiting for him in one of the protective cages next to the row of mailboxes.

"What.. what's this?" he asked as he unlocked his mailbox to get the key to unlock the cage.

Gabriel just smirked, "Get it and let's get upstairs. Be careful, it'll be heavier than it looks."

Jack unlocked the cage and hefted the package out. Gabriel was right, the thing was a lot heavier than it seemed. He looked up at the stairs and groaned, but gamely started climbing.

"H-how did you even...?" he asked, carefully placing his feet so he didn't lose his balance.

"Did you know," said Gabriel, walking a few steps above Jack and carrying the bags from the market, "that Azon.com has a warehouse here in Manhattan? And that they can deliver stuff in an hour?"

"... You crafty motherfucker."

"Now, now, language, Jack," Gabriel grinned down at him. "Remember, if you want to pay me back, pay attention to what I teach you."

Jack hefted the box, hearing things shift inside, and wondered just how much 'paying back' he was going to have to do.

When they got the apartment, Gabriel took the box from Jack so he could unlock the three deadbolts and let them inside. Ana greeted them with a faint meow, then hissed at Gabriel and ran off again.

"Do you think she'll ever like me?" Gabriel asked, stepping into the kitchen to set the box down, along with the bags.

"You never know!" said Jack cheerfully, "but I hear she can be bribed with sashimi." He locked the door back up again and flipped on the lights, then joined Gabriel in the kitchen.

"Okay," said Gabriel, ripping the packing tape off the box. "Before I start getting this stuff out I want to remind you that I do _not_ want you to feel obligated in any way to me. I got this because I wanted to, okay?"

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Uh... how much did you spend?"

"Nuh-huh, that would be telling," he said, reaching into the box and pulling out a smaller box. "Here, you can open this," he said, handing it to Jack, then reached back into the box and pulled out a large pot with a strainer built in.

Jack took the box with a soft grunt. The relative small size of the box belied its weight, and he set it on the counter to get it open. Inside, wrapped in some packing plastic that probably didn't actually do anything, he found a largish pot. It was coated cast iron, which explained the weight, and had a lid.

"Just give that a quick wash in the sink, just to get the dust out," said Gabriel. "We'll be using that one first."

While Jack wrestled the heavy pot out of its packaging, Gabriel laid out everything he needed to make the meal he had in mind. He tossed the now empty box aside and started peeling packaging and cardboard off the items he'd purchased. He double checked that he had everything he needed and tossed all the trash into the box.

Jack finished washing the pot out and set it on the stove. His eyes widened when he saw the array of items that stretched across the counter.

“This is a lot of stuff,” said Jack, dismayed.

“Well, I had to. You didn’t even have any spices!”

“I had salt!” Jack protested.

“Salt isn’t a spice, Jack!” Gabriel said with a laugh.

Jack huffed and picked up a small bag of flour, looking at it,  "You can get all this online?"

"Yep, now... your first job is to start cutting this onion."

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay, that was amazing. I think I could get used to this," said Jack as he set down his fork with a soft sigh of contentment, then stifled a burp with a smile. Gabriel grinned at him, then stood up from the tiny table and picked up their plates.

"Oh, Gabe, let me get that," Jack started, but Gabriel gave him a sharp shake of his head.

"Nope, house rules, whoever doesn't cook gets to clean up," he said, taking the dishes to the sink and turning the water on.

"I guess that's okay," Jack replied, his eyes drawn to Gabriel's back, watching the muscles move under the t-shirt. He licked his lips and got to his feet anyway, his fingers itching with the sudden desire to touch Gabriel.

He walked over to Gabriel and trailed his fingers down his back, marveling at how warm he always was.

Gabriel paused in his washing for a moment, then smiled, "Oh hey, there's a good sign..."

Jack chuckled and slid his arms around Gabriel, pressing his chest against Gabriel's back and kissing the nape of his neck, "Is it?"

Jack felt Gabriel's slight tremble even though he was washing, "Yes, definitely... I didn't want to say anything because I knew you were feeling bad, but I've missed you in more ways than one."

Jack flushed and smiled against Gabriel's neck. His voice dropped a notch as he ran his hands along Gabriel's stomach, feeling the muscles jump and tremble beneath his fingers, "Is that so?"

Gabriel finished rinsing the plate and set it carefully down, then dried his hands on a dish towel before taking both of Jack's hands in his own, bringing them to his mouth and kissing his fingers, "Very definitely so."

Jack hummed happily and squeezed, hugging Gabriel tight. He felt warm again, finally - a good warmth, spiraling out from his chest. He felt rather than heard Gabriel's rumble of approval as he lifted Jack's hands to his mouth again. "So what do you propose we do?" he murmured, his breath tickling Jack's fingers.

Jack felt the warmth shift and gather low in his stomach and pressed a little tighter against Gabriel's ass, "I do have a perfectly good bed that we both fit on..."

Gabriel slowly turned around in Jack's arms, a mischievous smile on his face, "A bed, Jack? How scandalous!"

Jack blushed bright red and Gabriel laughed, tapping him on the nose, "Got you, Jackie."

Jack just shook his head with a fond smile, then leaned forward to capture Gabriel's lips with his own, noticing Gabriel's sharp intake of breath followed by a soft sigh. Jack sighed too, kissing Gabriel slowly, savoring it. He had missed him, missed this. Jack teased Gabriel's lower lip with his tongue and then slowly licked into his mouth when his lips parted.

He felt like his heart was beating so hard he could hear it. It wasn't just that Gabriel turned him on so much, it was that Gabriel was becoming something he didn't want to let go of, didn't want to give up. It was exhilarating, but also terrifying.

Jack broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, staring into Gabriel's gorgeous eyes. He knew what he wanted, at least this night, and licked his lips nervously.

"M-make l-love to me, Gabriel..." whispered Jack, his voice caught in his throat. Gabriel's amber eyes flashed with a quickly buried emotion and he bent his head to capture Jack's lips again.

"Yeah, okay," he murmured against Jack's mouth, and slowly began walking Jack backwards through the apartment. Gabriel paused here and there to remove pieces of their clothing between kisses, leaving a trail of shirts and jeans and behind them on their way to the bedroom. Jack felt giddy and light-headed, and his cock was already rock hard.

Gabriel backed Jack up to the foot of the bed and smiled. Jack smiled in return, then sighed when Gabriel knelt down to pull off Jack's underwear, giving his cock a little kiss before he stood up. Jack bit his lower lip, and Gabriel reached out and gently pushed him back onto the bed. Jack scooted back until his head was on the pillows, smiling down at Gabriel at the foot of the bed through his spread knees. Gabriel smirked and dropped to all fours, crawling up the bed until he'd reached Jack's body.

Jack shivered as Gabriel reached for one leg, pulling his foot up and kissing his ankle, stroking his fingers down towards Jack's knee, then following his fingers with his lips. He left a slow trail of kisses up Jack's leg as as Jack squirmed and made little aborted gasping noises, looking down at Gabriel through lowered lashes. Gabriel leaned up between his legs, stroking the insides of his thighs with both hands, warm admiration in his eyes as he gazed at the way Jack's cock stood proudly up from its nest of wiry hair.

Gabriel bent back down and continued to kiss his way up from Jack’s knee towards his cock, but then skipped over it completely, teasingly close enough for Jack to feel his hot breath against his balls. He huffed softly at the surge of pleasure, making a slightly annoyed noise when he felt Gabriel's lips on his other thigh. He felt Gabriel's fingers stroking down his chest, causing his stomach to tense as the contact danced on the line between stimulating and tickling.

Jack groaned softly as Gabriel's warm palm slid through the hair just at the base of his cock, the edge of his hand rubbing the place where his cock met his stomach. "T-tease..." he whispered, lifting his hips slightly.

Gabriel chuckled and bent his head, "Not always" he said, and Jack shuddered and groaned at the incredible sensation of Gabriel's mouth slipping over the tip of his cock, gently sucking. He let his breath out in a stuttered "h-hah..." as Gabriel swirled his tongue around the head, then slowly took more of Jack's cock into his mouth. The hot, wet suction of Gabriel's mouth felt so good he couldn't think of anything else, and he let his head fall back on the pillow.

For several minutes, Gabriel explored Jack's cock with his mouth and tongue. Jack knew he was paying attention to his soft gasps and moans, because once Jack reacted to the way Gabriel flickered his tongue up the underside of the head of Jack's cock with a guttural groan, and Gabriel repeated the action several times over until Jack was tossing his head from side to side.

Jack was already close by the time Gabriel let go of his cock and moved to his ass, pushing his thighs apart and canting his hips upward so Gabriel could lap and lick at the sensitive flesh  between his legs. Jack made some kind of hitched noise and Gabriel echoed it, thrusting his tongue into his ass and causing Jack to bear down against his face, shivering at the contrast between the sensation of the rough scratch of Gabriel's facial hair and the soft, tender caresses he made with his lips and tongue. He had a brief moment to think about how he hadn't showered, but Gabriel didn't seem to mind, so he pushed the thought away.

Jack couldn't take it anymore, and he gripped Gabriel's head weakly between his hands, moaning a barely audible, "Please." Gabriel responded by licking his way up from Jack's ass, across his balls, and up the shaft of his cock. Jack's skin jumped and shuddered as Gabriel began kissing his way up Jack's stomach, feather-light kisses that made Jack gasp softly and clutch at nothing. It felt to Jack that it took Gabriel years to finally move up his body, with a detour to his sensitive nipples that caused Jack to hiss in pleasure when Gabriel fastened his teeth around one and flicked at the tip with his tongue.

Gabriel licked into the hollow of Jack's throat, then sucked a bruise onto his collarbone. Jack wanted him so badly he cold barely think, and rocked his hips upward against Gabriel's body in supplication. He might have said please or oh god or Gabriel's name whispered like a prayer, but Jack was so lost that all he could think about was Gabriel's body against his.

Gabriel settled himself between Jack's thighs, resting his weight on his elbows as he stroked Jack's face with his hands. Jack's face was flushed, and the press of Gabriel's cock against him was almost more than he could take. He wanted Gabriel inside him, again, always. He tilted his hips entreatingly and felt Gabriel rock his hips in return, the head of his cock pressing against Jack's spit-slick entrance, making him moan softly. Gabriel began making short, shallow thrusts, the dripping head of his cock teasing Jack's hole a little wider each time, smearing precum over it.

Jack was panting in no time, wrapping his legs around Gabriel's waist as he moved into him, trying to pull him closer, deeper. Finally the slightly flared head passed the rim of Jack's tight ass and they both groaned in harmony. Gabriel leaned down to kiss Jack, sliding his tongue into his mouth the same time he pushed his cock deeper inside Jack. Jack moaned and panted into Gabriel's mouth, nipping and licking at his tongue and lips, until finally Gabriel bottomed out, his hips pressed flush against Jack's.

"Oh my god, Gabe," Jack whispered, his voice shaking, "You feel so good. I just... I can't..."

Gabriel groaned and slowly rolled his hips, pulling his cock slightly back, and then pressing deep again. "So do you, Jackie," he replied, his voice low and broken. Jack thought he heard a hint of tenderness and it made him clutch Gabriel closer. It felt so different from the previous encounters they'd had - slow and languid and inexorable, like orgasm was an inevitability to be accepted when it happened rather than something to be frantically striven for.

Jack felt his heart break and reform and break again. The slow, sweet way that Gabriel moved within him made him want to laugh and cry at the same time. Gabriel's lips were warm on his neck, his hands carding through Jack's hair and sending shivers down his spine. Gabriel kissed his way up Jack's jawline to his chin, and then his lips. Jack moaned softly into Gabriel's mouth, rocking his hips up to meet Gabriel's slow thrusts, wanting something he couldn't name.

Gabriel's mouth was still on his when Jack felt Gabriel's hips stutter, felt the tension spreading across his back. Jack sucked Gabriel's grunt of release into his mouth, swallowed it and the chest-deep groan that immediately followed as if they were real things to be consumed. He felt Gabriel's cock pulsing, throbbing inside him, and it pushed him over the edge that he'd been skirting for so long.

Jack barely made a sound, only released a long, slow, hitching sigh into Gabriel's mouth, feeling the warm wetness of his climax across his stomach distantly, like it belonged to someone else. His world went white, focus narrowed to the two connections he had with Gabriel - Gabriel's lips on his, his tongue languidly licking into Jack's mouth like he was the only thing Gabriel needed to survive, and Gabriel's cock, solid and real and anchoring Jack so he didn't float away. He wasn't sure how long he drifted but a gentle, whispered voice brought him back.

"Jack... Jackie... are you okay?"

"W-what?"

"You're crying..."

Jack lifted a trembling hand to his face, only slightly surprised when his fingers came away wet. He gave Gabriel a watery smile, "Oh... Yeah... yeah, I'm okay."

"More than okay," he added, pulling Gabriel in for another slow kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And what did Gabriel teach Jack how to cook? It was this [bolognese sauce](http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/ryans-bolognese-sauce/), and [these noodles.](http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/homemade-pasta/) I have made both and they are delicious if you like this kind of thing.
> 
> Special thanks to [KingLeo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KingLeo/pseuds/KingLeo) for being my beta!


	8. The Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack sees something and reacts the only way he knows how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags for this chapter: Past Abuse Mention, Gaslighting, Angst, Unhealthy Coping

New York City was a dismal, drizzly grey.

Grey sky, grey rain, grey people. The wind gusted in chill bursts, heavy with the promise of winter, and snow. The streets were shiny with rain and clotted with fallen leaves, while the sidewalks were a sea of umbrellas and even the normal city noises seemed to be hushed and subdued by the weather. Jack walked along the avenue aimlessly. He didn't want to go home just yet but he also didn't know where he wanted to go.

Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me tonight? 

**Sorry Jack, I can't this week. Got a ton of stuff to do for work. Rain check?**

Yeah no problem, just let me know when you're done! 

It was easier to seem cheerful through text, but in truth, he felt his gut twist anxiously. It wasn't like they'd _officially_ said anything about their relationship, even though it felt like things had... not necessarily _changed_ , but _shifted_ , the last time that Gabriel had been over. But Jack wasn't about to flip his Facebook status for a guy he'd had a couple of wild nights with...

Jack sighed, knowing he was lying to himself. It wasn't just the sex, which was incredible, yes, and hotter than anything he'd done in his life, but just _being_ with Gabriel was enough to send him into fits of tender gazes and skipped heartbeats. Hell, his kitchen looked like someone who actually knew how to cook lived there, and Jack had even attempted to make something on his own with the few ingredients he had. It wasn't a roaring success, but it wasn't a total failure either.

He smiled, wondering how Gabriel would react when he realized that Jack had been practicing to make him something special.

A burst of laughter, loud enough to be heard even through the large glass window he was walking past, made Jack pause and turn his head, still smiling. _He knew that laugh._

He lifted the edge of his umbrella and there was Gabriel, dressed only in a pair of sweats and some kind of leg-warmer-shoe things. He was embracing a slight young woman who was dressed in a leotard and tights, and smiling down at her. Jack felt the blood drain from his face as Gabriel gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

Instantly, a memory of his ex overtook Jack’s mind.

_Listen, I have an old friend coming to stay with me for a few days. I wanted you to know because we’re probably going to be real busy doing stuff so don’t worry about coming over._

_I could… meet them?_

_Oh, no, don’t worry about that, you wouldn’t like her anyway._

_Right… Okay._

Jack’s pupils contracted to pinpoints as he remembered going over to his ex’s place anyway, wanting to borrow a movie or something, and finding them in bed together.

_Oh, don’t be ridiculous. It’s not what it looks like. You’re just overreacting. Look, I even have my underwear on, for crying out loud. What are you going to believe, me or your eyes? Because we both know that your perception is really bad and you have a tendency to blow things out of proportion._

_Yeah… yeah, you’re right._

_There, see? Now go on home, and don’t worry! You’re just reading into things too much again._

He shook off the memory and staggered back as if he'd been punched, dropping his umbrella. His hands, arms and shoulders felt like they'd been dunked in ice water, and his heart started beating so fast he felt dizzy.

_N-no..._

Then, to his horror, it looked like Gabriel saw him. He turned his head and looked out the window, directly at Jack. Then, with something like a little shrug, he turned back to the girl and smiled his gorgeous smile at her, and Jack felt like he was breaking into a thousand shards of glass right there on the sidewalk.

He picked up his umbrella in nerveless fingers and started to trudge home, replaying the moment in his head over and over again. Kiss, turn, and look away. Kiss, turn, and look away.

He was vaguely aware that his cheeks were wet, and not from rain.

* * *

Jack slowly came back to awareness and realized he was sitting on his couch. The walk home had been a grey blur and he wasn't even sure how long he’d been sitting there. He looked over towards the kitchen and saw that he'd fed Ana, at least, but his own stomach grumbled unhappily. He ignored it. He didn't feel like eating. Didn't feel like doing anything, really. He sat and stared at his phone in a kind of hazy numbness, wondering if he should say something to Gabriel, and if so, how?

_I saw you tonight._

_Who's the girl?_

_Are we... a thing? Exclusive?_

Jack closed his eyes, feeling his hands tremble. Past experience had taught him not to bother, because lies were easy to say.

_I saw you with that ‘old friend’ again._

_What? No, no, never happened, you must have been mistaken. She’s not even in town right now._

The voice of his ex again, convincing him that his own eyes were lying to him. It had only been a year since they broke up, and the memories were still fresh in his mind.

He knew Gabriel wouldn't do that, didn't he?

Eventually he gave up thinking about it and decided not to try to message Gabriel after all. Every time he told himself he would just get it over with, his fingers would go numb and his breathing would quicken, and he had to put the phone down until he could quell the rising panic.

_Just talk to him._

"I... I can't!" Jack whispered, his throat tightening.

He got up from the couch and went to his room to get undressed, then went into the bathroom. He turned the shower on and then stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. He looked like a generic middle-aged white guy. Blond hair, blue eyes, nice smile... But there was grey in the blond, and the beginnings of dark, bruise-like splotches under his eyes, and he didn't feel much like smiling.

He stood in the shower until the water got cold, and then stood under that until he couldn't take it anymore and finally staggered out, exhausted and shivering. He dried himself off and fell into bed, where he lay there for a very, very long time before sleep finally came for him.

* * *

When Gabriel called a few days later, Jack answered the phone without thinking. As soon as he heard Gabriel's voice, however, he was immediately drawn back into the memory of what had happened.

"Hey, Jack! How are you? I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner later?"

"No, sorry Gabe, I'm working."

"Jack? Are you okay? You sound a little strange."

"No... I... Sorry, I just have a lot of work. And I'm sure you have a lot of work."

"Well, yeah, but I can make some time tonight since it's been going so well."

"Yeah, I bet it has been," Jack couldn't keep the edge of bitterness out of his voice.

"Really, are you okay? You... you almost sound mad."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Shouldn't you be getting back to work... with that girl?"

"Jackie," Gabriel's voice became light, as if he were humoring him, "is that what this is about?"

"I saw you kiss her," Jack said, feeling the ice water flow through his veins again.

"It's just for work, I promise. It's nothing."

"Yeah... I've heard that before."

"Jack? Come on... you know it's not like that."

"Sorry... I've been down that road before and I'm not interested in doing it again."

"Now hold on, Jack! I promise you, it's not like that! Jack? Jackie?!"

Jack hung up the phone, the numbness spreading down his arms into his fingers. The phone immediately vibrated in his hand as Gabriel called him back, and he declined it, then turned the phone off. He just couldn't think right now. All he could hear was his ex telling him _I told you so I told you so_.

He looked around his apartment. The plants would be okay. He'd rigged everything to be watered automatically the last time he'd had to work almost a week straight. Ana also had an automatic waterer but the food was a different story. Well, she'd be okay for today after he fed her, at least. He could worry about what to do with her later.

He decided, ultimately, to head back to work, throwing himself into a couple of tough cases they'd been working on for a while. He went to work as early as he could manage it, stayed at the office as late as possible before heading home to feed Ana and get a couple hours of sleep, then did it all over again the next day. He avoided Gabriel entirely and eventually ended up blocking him on his phone. He knew he wasn't handling it well but he didn't know any other way to handle it. His own limited experience only served to make things worse, and there wasn't anyone he trusted to talk about it.

Even Jesse commented on his haggard appearance at one point, asking him if his boyfriend was wearing him out. Jack was so tired he didn’t even question the phrasing that Jesse used, or why he thought Jack had a boyfriend. Instead, he just ignored the question completely, leaving Jesse’s cocksure smile to falter and fade away when Jack didn’t respond.

He worked himself into exhaustion, because at least when he was exhausted, his brain couldn’t dredge up the memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up. Writing this kind of emotional trauma is a beast, as I am unfortunately intimately familiar with how it feels. Thank you for your patience, and don't worry, things don't stay angsty for long!


	9. The Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Gabriel kiss and make up... sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I'd like to apologize for the lengthy delay in posting this chapter. Real life kicked me in the ass pretty severely over the winter and is unfortunately still kicking my ass, but I'm going to try to update much more frequently than this last one. I'd like to also thank all of you for your patience, and your continued support.

Hours blurred into days which blurred into weeks as Jack worked himself to the bone, trying to escape the way his brain kept sending him into a spiral of self-doubt, anguish and bad memories. Thinking of Gabriel was like poking at an open wound, a sharp agony that he couldn't seem to stay away from despite the pain it brought. He wasn't even sure how he felt about anything else, at this point, or really if he _felt_ at all.

Everything became mechanical. He knew he wasn't handling it well, and that ate at him almost as much as his inability to do anything about it, but he wasn't sure how to pull himself out of the spiral. Even his trips to work and back home were done more out of muscle memory than actual awareness of his surroundings, and this day was no different. A mindless ride home on the subway, and then an equally mindless walk from the station to his apartment.

He reached his stairs on autopilot and began to trudge up the crumbling concrete, his steps heavy, one foot in front of the other. _Almost ho-_

"Jackie?"

Jack's thought was derailed and he paused at the dingy door, about to let himself in, then slowly turned his head to see Gabriel sitting on the balustrade. His heart thudded painfully in his chest and he distantly thought how unfair it was that this man could cause such a reaction in him, even after so much pain.

"Gabe." Jack's mouth felt dry and his throat rusty from disuse. He couldn't even muster enough emotion to be angry, and his voice came out flat and uncaring.

"We need to talk."

The immediate panic that those words raised almost choked Jack, but he still managed a firm, "No."

Jack buzzed himself in, and stepped across the threshhold.

"Jackie, please. I'm begging you."

He paused then, ignoring the way his heart jittered and the nausea twisted in his stomach, and turned to look at Gabriel. This time, he really _looked_ at him.

Gabriel looked miserable. He looked like Jack felt. He looked lost and sad. There were circles under his eyes and it seemed his hoodie and fatigue jacket were hanging a little looser on his tall frame. The beanie was nowhere to be seen.

"It wasn't what it looked like. I know it sounds ridiculous, but... it really wasn't."

Jack wanted to believe him, but he'd been through this before, more than once. His gut knotted and he looked away.

"Gabriel, please don't."

"Jack... will you... will you please let me try to explain? Please, at least give me a chance. If... if you decide afterwards that..." Gabriel swallowed thickly, "That we can't... that... I'll underst-tand."

Jack looked back at Gabriel and rubbed his face tiredly. He knew he should say no. He knew that it was just going to be the same as it was last time. He knew he should just walk away.

"Okay."

He knew he was in deep trouble.

"Let me feed Ana and change, okay? I'll be back down in a couple minutes."

Jack saw the flash of hurt in Gabriel's eyes as he turned and let himself back in, leaving Gabriel to sit on the balustrade, but pushed it aside. He clumped up the stairs and to his door numbly, leaning his forehead against the cool wood before he unlocked it and went in.

* * *

Gabriel had a taxi waiting by the time Jack got back downstairs, having fed Ana and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, topped with a warm, woolen pea coat.

He looked at the taxi, knowing he should feel suprise but couldn't muster it. "What's this?"

"I thought maybe you'd... you'd like to come over to my place for a change," replied Gabriel, hesitantly.

Jack slowly nodded and climbed in, then looked out the window, nearly ignoring the other man.

Gabriel, for his part, said nothing after he sat down, though he fidgeted on his seat and twiddled his fingers together. Jack realized after a few minutes they were heading to a much different part of town than he'd ever been. The brownstones and bodegas slowly gave way to shimmering condos and high-scale shops. Jack started to feel a bit of curiosity in spite of himself, and when he looked over at Gabriel in speculation, the other man nearly jumped out of his skin.

"This is good!" Gabriel blurted at the driver, who obediently pulled closer to the curb to let the pair out. Jack got out and looked around as Gabriel paid the driver. They were surrounded by things that screamed _money_ , from the store fronts to the skyscrapers themselves. Jack craned his neck around, trying to see everything, much like he'd done at Coney Island. Gabriel made a kind of choked noise and Jack looked at him, catching that he was watching Jack with watery eyes. Gabriel quickly turned away and started walking, with Jack trailing behind him, confused at the reaction.

A couple of blocks later, Gabriel veered towards the doors of a towering building and greeted a doorman, glancing at Jack with an almost embarassed expression on his face. Jack started to realize that there was something pretty big about Gabriel's life that he'd neglected to mention to Jack so far.

Gabriel lead him over to an elevator and pushed the button. Jack looked around the lobby of the building, noting the plush carpets and statues, and even the faint tinkle of a piano being played drifing through the air.

The elevator arrived with a soft ding and Gabriel stepped on, then looked back at Jack, beckoning to him. After a moment of hesitation, Jack stepped on the elevator as well.

Gabriel sighed and slid a card into a reader, and a moment later the elevator rapidly ascended. Jack stared at the reader, then glanced at Gabriel, who was studiously not looking at him. A short time later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened silently.

Jack took a step backward in surprise.

"Wha-?"

Gabriel stepped off the elevator into a brightly-lit, spacious room, spreading his hands wide, "Welcome to my home."

Jack gingerly stepped off the elevator, as if expecting to fall through an elaborate illusion. The doors closed behind him and he looked back at it like it would disappear.

"This... is where you live?"

"Yeah," said Gabriel, shyly. "I was afraid to show you."

"But... why?"

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about my... my money situation. Sometimes people... react weird."

Jack looked around.

"You've... you have money... like _money_ money?" he asked, looking at a piece of artwork on the wall that he was pretty sure was an original Picasso.

"Y-yeah."

"That was how you got all that stuff for me when we made the bolognese," said Jack.

"Yeah..."

"I see..." Jack wasn't sure how he felt about that. All his life he was used to handling his own affairs, his own money, and it wasn't like he himself was lacking in the paycheck department. He looked around curiously.

Gabriel's penthouse apartment was spacious, taking up a long strip on one side of his building, with enormous floor-to-ceiling windows running nearly the entire length of it. The ceilings were vaulted at an angle, the highest parts on the window side of the apartment. Everything was laid out in an open floor plan, the main living area next to a kitchen fronted by a long counter, followed by another living area. Beyond that was a wall with a French door, partly open to show a bed beyond.

The decorations were an odd mix of classical and eclectic, Greek-style statues comfortably sharing space with classic movie posters on the walls, along with several houseplants of various sizes, but the one thing that really caught Jack's attention was a pole mounted floor to ceiling near the back of the second living area.

"Are you kidding?" he said, walking over to it.

Gabriel laughed, "I use it for exercise."

Jack was intrigued.

"Will... will you show me?"

"Sure, Jackie," said Gabriel, as he walked over and spun the pole briefly under his fingers.

Jack watched as Gabriel addressed the bar, then suddenly swung his leg up and around it and climbed to the top, hooking his knee around the bar and bracing himself with his thigh as the pole slowly spun. He made it look effortless, and Jack found himself swallowing audibly.

"That's... wow..." Jack couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Yeah? Wanna see something else?"

"Sure!"

Gabriel grinned and then flipped upside down, trapping the bar between his ankles as he stretched out and reached over his head towards the floor to grab the bar, his body arcing slightly. His shirt rode up and Jack stared at Gabriel's stomach. _Oh._

Gabriel shifted his grip on the bar and then suddenly let go with his feet, spreading them apart in an upside-down split, his ass against the bar for balance. He brought one leg down so that foot was firmly on the ground and then slowly unfolded himself into an upright position. He looked at Jack and grinned, "So?"

Jack gaped in amazement. His pants felt too tight all of a sudden, and Gabriel dropped his head slightly, looking at him from under lowered lashes. He turned back to the bar, grabbed it in one hand, and then rocked his hips towards it in a slow, undulating grind that made Jack forget about everything for a brief moment.

"H-holy hell, Gabe..."

"I could give you a real show, if you wanted. After we talk, of course."

"Oh, o-of course. Right." Jack swallowed against the flare of anxiety and looked at Gabriel expectantly.

Gabriel turned and leaned his back against the bar, smiling shyly at Jack, "I'm... well, I'm a dancer, and sometimes the parts I play require me to get a little more physical with my partners... including kissing them."

"Oh," Jack said, suddenly feeling very ashamed and foolish. Actually, he felt like an asshole, but he knew deep down it was okay he reacted the way he did. It was all he knew, after all.

Gabriel moved closer to Jack, his face showing concern and tenderness, "Who was it, Jack?"

"What?"

"Who was it who hurt you so badly?"

Jack looked away, then got up and walked over to a window, looking out over the city. He was quiet for a long time, trying to figure out how he could compress such a long and convuluted story into something short and easy to explain.  While he was thinking, Gabriel walked to the kitchen and fixed them both a drink, then came back and set Jack's on the wide windowsill in front of him.

Jack looked down, murmuring his thanks, and picked up the drink.  He swirled it around in his hand, then took a sip. Gabriel stood silently by, sipping his own drink, not pressing. Jack welcomed the slight warmth of the alcohol, then decided that at least this time it might not be bad to be a little lubricated before he started and finished off his drink relatively quickly.

"His name was Anthony, and we were engaged to be married," Jack finally said, after the alcohol had dulled the edges slightly, and Gabriel turned and gave him his full attention.

"He kept putting off planning the wedding. It was like... after he proposed that was enough. He'd always tell me things like, 'Wait for the repeal of DADT' or 'Wait for the legislature to pass' talking about where we could legally get married," Jack leaned his forehead against the glass.

"It wasn't until later I found out he was putting it off because I wasn't the only one he was engaged to."

Gabriel jerked and whipped his head around to stare at Jack, huffing an indignant, "What!?"

"He had two other people aside from me, both women... and I even caught him in the act _more_ than once and he... turned it... around so it... it..." Jack's voice broke. "He'd say I was seeing things... it wasn't what it looked like...it... it was just for work. Then later... he started blaming me, saying it was my fault, that I'd driven him to do it. That if I wasn't worthless he wouldn't have done it. When I got my last duty assignment, he told me it was over because I couldn't keep him happy."

"Oh... oh my God, Jackie... Fuck... _Fuck!_ " Gabriel whispered. He turned suddenly to Jack, who flinched away at the expression on Gabriel's face, which immediately drew the other man up short.

"I'm not mad at you, Jack. I'm sorry," Gabriel said, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Listen... I know... _God_... I know it doesn't feel like you can trust me right now, and now I know why, but I want you to know I'm willing to do whatever you need me to do to regain your trust in me."

"B-but it wasn't your _fault_ , it's all my issues coming out and I-" Jack stopped as Gabriel held up a hand, smiling.

"I know that, but if this is what I need to do to reassure you, then it's worth it. Call me at all hours, come see me at the studio, drop in any time. I'll do it all... no matter how ridiculous you think it seems or how controlling or whatever. I'll do it. I want... no, I _need_ you to trust me. I'll do whatever I have to do to earn that trust."

Jack whimpered and dropped his head. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve Gabriel.

"But... I don't know how long it... it'll take before..." Jack took a shuddering breath.

Gabriel reached out and gently touched the back of Jack's hand.

"I know... but... I'm still willing to do whatever you need," Gabriel said softly.

Jack shook his head in denial, choking back his emotions. He didn't want to break down again in front of Gabriel, but his chest was starting to feel tight and his hands were tingling.

"Jack, I... I've really grown to care about you these past couple of months. A lot. And I hope in time I can show you how much. But for now... Just give me a chance, please."

Jack sucked in a harsh breath, feeling the panic starting to eat away at his outward calm. It was just going to be the same thing all over again. Gabriel was even saying the same things he'd heard before. It just wasn't going to work. It was never going to work.

"Jackie?"

Gabriel's voice came to him as if down a tunnel, and he realized he was sitting on the floor, his head between his knees. His chest hurt and he couldn't breathe.

"Jack, listen to my voice. You're okay. You're having a panic attack but it's okay, I'm here for you. Just breath in... now breathe out... let it out slow, there you go. Breathe in..."

For several minutes Jack followed Gabriel's voice as the panic gradually eased, leaving him with tingling hands and clammy skin.

"You don't have to apologize, Jack. I understand," Gabriel said, and that's when Jack realized he'd been hissing "I'm sorry" over and over again.

Gabriel sat next to him on the floor, rubbing his back, and Jack slowly tipped over to rest his head against Gabriel's shoulder, feeling exhausted but breathing normally.

"There you go," said Gabriel, encouragingly. "Do you think you can get up?"

Jack tested his legs and managed to shakily get to his feet. Gabriel put his arm around Jack's shoulders and carefully lead him to a couch and sat him down. The couch faced one of the enormous windows that made up most of the outside walls in Gabriel's apartment, and Jack looked out over the city, watching the tiny movements of car lights in the distance and feeling like he was somewhere else entirely. He couldn't even feel his skin.

Gabriel brought a mug to him and he took it automatically, then looked at it in surprise, "What is this?"

"Mexican hot chocolate," Gabriel chuckled, "It's from a packet and not quite like the real thing but I think you'll like it."

Jack took a sip of the warm, slightly spicy cocoa and mustered a small, genuine smile, "That's... really good."

"Jack, can I ask you something... personal, I guess?"

"Sure?"

"Have you thought about... you know... seeing a professional?" Gabriel asked, looking at Jack over his own mug.

Jack looked down, frowning slightly, "I... I don't know. I mean, I have thought about it but... what if it doesn't work? What if they just want to drug me up and... I don't know, I've heard some stories about medication."

"I understand. I just worry about you and I want you to be happy. I'll do what you need me to do but there's no shame in getting a little extra help, or even going on medication."

"Yeah, but... I dunno... medication seems like... weakness," Jack sighed.

"You wouldn't say that to a diabetic about their insulin, would you?" Gabriel asked, a slight smile on his lips.

"What?! Of course not, they ne-- oh." Jack leaned back against the couch, a brief laugh escaping his lips.

"I'm just saying, don't discount the idea, all right?"

"All right. No promises, but I'll think about it," said Jack.

"That's all I can ask," said Gabriel, as he reached over and put his hand on Jack's leg. Warmth spread from the contact and Jack looked into Gabriel's eyes, suddenly remembering everything they'd done together. His lips parted slightly and he leaned over hesitantly, then gently pressed his lips to Gabriel's.

Gabriel kissed him back just as gently, his warm hand settling on the back of Jack's neck.

* * *

Jack wasn't sure exactly how they ended up in Gabriel's bed. It was like one moment they were kissing on the couch, and the next, Gabriel was hovering over him, his hips slotted between Jack's thighs.

Jack looked up at Gabriel, panting softly. The other man smiled down at him, and the glint in his amber eyes made Jack feel warm all over. He wiggled slightly, settling Gabriel more comfortably between his legs, and ran his hands along Gabriel's shoulders.

"I've missed you, Jackie. Not just this, but your company," Gabriel said.

"I... I missed you too. I'm sor-" he started to say, then stopped, closing his eyes. "Thank you for being here for me."

"Of course," Gabriel said reassuringly, then bent his head to capture Jack's lips with his own. Jack sighed and kissed him back but something didn't quite feel right in his head.

It wasn't until he felt Gabriel's hard cock pushing gently inside him and the panic bubbled up again that he realized what the problem was: He was still reacting automatically. _He didn't want this._

"Wait... Gabriel..." Jack whimpered, putting his hands on Gabriel's chest, looking up at him.

Gabriel halted his forward motion, his arms shaking slightly, "What is it?"

"I... I'm sorry... I... I can't do this right now," Jack winced, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

"You want me to stop?" asked Gabriel, softly.

"Yes. I'm sorry, please don't be angry."

Gabriel blew out a slow, shuddering breath and then slowly withdrew, moving to the side so he could drop down next to Jack, looking at the ceiling for a moment before rolling to face him.

"You don't have to apologize, Jack," Gabriel said. "If anything, I should be apologizing to you."

Jack rolled towards Gabriel, then hunched forward to tuck himself underneath his chin. A moment later, Jack felt Gabriel's fingertips gently stroke his back, soothingly.

"You don't have to apologize," Gabriel repeated, "You never have to apologize for saying no, okay? I want you to say no. I would rather you tell me no and let me deal with some discomfort than for you to act like you want something when you really don't, all right? I'm sorry I put you in a position where you had to say it."

"It's okay," whispered Jack, as he closed his eyes and tucked himself tighter against Gabriel, shivering. "It's... I just... don't feel like myself right now."

"I understand, and I'm not mad, I promise," Gabriel replied, hugging Jack close. "Get some sleep, Jackie. Tomorrow's a new day." Gabriel kissed the top of Jack's head and relaxed against the pillow, watching Jack until he fell asleep a few moments later. Jack snorted softly to himself, envious of the way Gabriel could do that. It took longer for him to fall asleep, but eventually, soothed by Gabriel's warm body and soft breathing, he did.

 


	10. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Gabriel avoid the issue with breakfast and relaxation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mispost of chapter 11, I forgot that this one was drafted!

Jack awoke to the smell of bacon cooking and reflexively clutched at the bed while he got his bearings. This was Gabriel's place. He was at Gabriel's and he was safe. Slowly the events of the previous night surfaced in his mind and he relaxed. He'd broken down again and Gabriel had talked him through it.

And then...

And then Gabriel had stopped when he asked him to.

Jack relaxed further into the mattress, sighing in relief and pushing away that stupid little voice that tried to tell him Gabe was mad about that. He stretched and smiled, looking at the ceiling, so high above his head. His smile faded when he realized he had no idea what time it was or even what day it was. Was he late for work? Did he even _have_ to work?

He flung the blanket off and sat up, balking at the idea of putting on his dirty clothes from yesterday. Chewing his lip thoughtfully, he stood up and walked to the French doors of the bedroom and cracked one open to peek out up the length of the apartment.

He could see Gabe in the kitchen from the shoulders up, stirring and flipping and whistling, and Jack called up, "Morning Gabe."

Gabriel turned his head and gave Jack a gorgeous smile that made his heart skip.

"Good morning, Jackie! Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I slept great, thank you. Um... do you mind if I borrow a pair of sweats or something?"

"No, go right ahead! Bottom dresser drawer.  Shirts are in the second drawer. Breakfast is almost ready, if you're up for eating?"

Jack smiled at the phrasing, "Yeah, I think I can eat something, thanks." He didn't feel particularly hungry but knew he should eat, and it _did_ smell delicious, whatever it was. He went to the dresser and opened it, finding a pair of grey sweatpants right away and pulling them on. He noticed the way they hung on his hips and then laughed at himself. He and Gabriel might be the same height but the sweatpants betrayed just how much thicker Gabe's thighs and ass were compared to his.

He opened the second drawer and picked a T-shirt at random, tugging it over his head and then unabashedly pulling the fabric up to his nose and breathing deep. _Gabe._ The scent was comforting, Jack realized, and despite the way his heart was fluttering excitedly, helped calm him down. After a few moments, he took another deep breath and then walked out of the bedroom.

"That smells amazing," Jack said, walking up next to Gabriel and giving him a one-armed hug. He looked around the counter and then back at the pan of food that Gabriel was stirring, his brow furrowed. "I thought I smelled bacon?"

"You did, it's in the oven," Gabriel replied, kissing Jack on the cheek.

"Ah, another one of those magic cooking things I don't know about," chuckled Jack.

"I'll teach you _all_ of my magical cooking skills, especially if you keep wearing my clothes."

Jack smiled and did a little twirl, "Looks okay then?"

"Yeah, especially the 'Juicy' on your butt," Gabriel snickered.

"What!?" Jack craned his head around, looking at his ass. Sure enough, in large block letters was the word 'JUGOSO'. "Well... how about that," said Jack, then laughed again.

Gabriel flashed him a brilliant smile as he stirred the pan, "So... how are you feeling, Jackie? Did you get enough sleep?"

"All things considered, I feel pretty good, and yes, I did, thank you. Slept better than I have in a whi-- shit!" Jack put his hands to his face and rubbed as he suddenly remembered Ana and work. "I need to call the office and tell them I won't be there today."

"Don't worry, Jackie, I'm pretty sure you don't need to do that, and even if you did, you wouldn't want to today."

At Jack's blank look, Gabriel raised an eyebrow, "It's Thanksgiving."

"It... what?" Jack's mind reeled. Thanksgiving? How many days had he lost in his fog?

"Yeah..." Gabriel said, starting to dish some eggs into bowls along with the veggies he'd been stirring. "Do you have someone who can take care of Ana?"

"Yeah, I can call my intern and ask him to do it, I'm sure."

"Jack, why don't you stay here for a couple of days? Let me pamper you. I'm off work and I think you could use some pampering..."

"Oh... Gabe, I don't know, I don't want to impose..."

"I insist. If it was an imposition I wouldn't have suggested it," Gabriel said, opening the oven and pulling out a tray with several pieces of bacon on it. He added a couple to each bowl, then gave one bowl to Jack.

"Besides, I think we still have some talking to do," Gabriel continued softly, smiling gently at Jack. Jack ducked his head slightly and nodded.

"Yeah, I ... I suppose we do. Let me call Jesse and see if he's willing to take care of Ana for me for a couple days."  
  
"Eat first," Gabriel said, pouring both of them a glass of orange juice, then taking both bowl and juice to the small table on the window side of the apartment. Jack took his food and juice to the table and sat down, looking out over the city, pink and golden in the early morning light.

"This is a hell of a view," he said, then started eating his food, listlessly at first, then with growing enthusiasm as the taste woke his senses up. "Okay, this is amazing. You can teach me how to make this?"

"I'll teach you whatever you want to learn," chuckled Gabriel between bites.

Jack stretched out his leg and pressed it against Gabriel's under the table. He wasn't sure where he was at with wanting physical contact, but that felt good. That was acceptable. The half-hug was okay too. The kiss on the cheek he wasn't totally certain of, but was leaning towards okay. Jack let his mind wander as he ate, catching Gabriel watching him every now and then and earning a smile from the other man.

When they were finished, Jack picked both bowls up and headed to the sink, playfully holding them away from Gabriel when he tried to reach for them.  
  
"Nope, you told me that the person who doesn't cook does the dishes and I mean to hold you to that," Jack said, smiling as he turned the water on. Gabriel laughed and relented, leaning against the counter to quietly keep Jack company as he washed their few dishes.

"I'll call Jesse in a minute," Jack said, drying his hands off when he was done. "I can't believe it's Thanksgiving. I... I really lost a lot of time the past couple of weeks."

"I'm still sorry about that, Jackie," Gabriel said softly.

"It's... My instinct to say is that it's okay because you didn't know, but it's not okay... Not that it's _your_ fault, but I wish I hadn't reacted the way I did. That part's not okay," Jack said, heading back into the bedroom to find his phone.

Gabriel followed and leaned against the door frame, "Something to work on if you decide to see someone?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, definitely. Okay, give me just a minute." He dialed Jesse's number and tapped his fingers on his leg, shifting in surprise when Jesse picked up after only one ring.

"Mr. Morrison! Hi! What can I do for you, sir?" Jesse said, sounding a little breathless.

"Hey, Jesse. I was wondering if you'd be willing to watch Ana for me for a few days? Something's come up and I won't be home for a bit."

"Yeah, absolutely, Mr. Morrison. Do you want me to water the plants too? I still have your notes from last time," Jesse asked.

"Yeah... Jesse, are you okay? You sound a little ..."

"Oh, yeah, just exercising, no worries, Mr. Morrison, I got you covered. Is the key still in the same place in your desk?"

"Yeah. Thanks Jesse, I owe you one," Jack said, smiling to himself at Jesse's barely concealed panting.

"No problem, I'll head over there in a bit," Jesse replied, then hung up.

Jack put his phone away and looked at Gabriel, "Well, that's one thing taken care of." He looked out the window and chewed his lip, then looked back at Gabriel, "Is it really Thanksgiving?"  
  
"It really is," Gabriel said, then gave him a sly smile, "You don't know what happens today, do you?"

"Uh... turkeys get cooked?" Jack said, then snapped his fingers, "That parade! That parade is today, isn't it? The one with the big balloons?"

Gabriel beamed, "That's right. If you want, we can watch it and just relax for a while."

"Not from up here?" Jack asked, glancing reflexively out the window.

"Oh, no," Gabriel smiled, "I'm not quite in the right area for that. But I do have a TV!"

Jack stood up and walked into the living area again, "You do? I didn't see one."

Gabriel tapped Jack's nose, grinned and hit a button on the wall near one of the couches. A painting retracted and slid aside to reveal a large, flat-panel TV.

Jack whistled, "That's some Batman-level shit right there."

Gabriel laughed, "I don't actually watch TV all that much so I figured I could get away with hiding it most of the time." He pulled a remote out of a small end table and turned it on, then found the channel with the broadcast. He sat down and patted the seat next to him.

Jack sat down almost warily. He knew he was okay, knew he was safe, but that little voice inside him was hard to silence, the one that kept trying to tell him Gabriel was only being nice now because... because...

 _Because why?_ he asked himself firmly. _There is no because, so shut the hell up!_

For once, the voice shut up, perhaps distracted by the colorful spectacle on the screen. Jack chuckled to himself at the Muppets, murmuring, "I grew up on that show."

Gabriel looked over at him, "Yeah? Who's your favorite muppet?"

"Swedish Chef," replied Jack, without hesitation. "You?"

"Miss Piggy," Gabriel grinned. Jack smiled back at him and welcomed the warm feeling that sank into his heart at the joyful flash of Gabriel's amber eyes.

The next two hours were filled with singing and dancing and of course, the giant, colorful balloons that the parade was famous for. Gabriel and Jack quipped back and forth to each other, or offered commentary, and eventually Jack relaxed enough to scoot down and lay his head on Gabriel's thigh, letting Gabriel pet his fingers through his hair. Jack knew the parade was coming to an end, and Jack also knew they needed to talk more. He swallowed against the knot of anxiety in his stomach and focused on Gabriel's soothing fingers, gentle against his scalp and the skin of his forehead and cheek. _Soon,_ he thought to himself, _We can talk soon. Not right now. This is a good moment. I want to keep this moment for a little while longer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a big shout-out to everyone who answered my call for encouragement. I appreciate every single note, reblog and message I was sent, and it helped tremendously. Thank you all <3


	11. The Time Spent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Just fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I didn't want to force it. More to come as the holiday season progresses, hopefully! Thanks everyone for sticking with me :)

Jack sighed softly and stretched in his warm cocoon of fabric. After several days of enjoying Gabe's hospitality and understanding, he was finally starting to feel like himself again, and viewed the few days he'd spent ensconced in Gabriel's apartment as a much needed mini-vacation. Jack was currently wrapped up in one of Gabe's blankets, sitting on the couch with a mug of hot cocoa, and watching the snow fall outside the apartment. Despite Jack's best efforts, Gabriel doted on him and wouldn't allow him to do anything except let himself be pampered. He had to admit it was a novel, and possibly addictive, experience.

"You're going to spoil me, you know," Jack said, taking a sip of his cocoa.

"That's the idea!" Gabe chimed from the kitchen, where he was cooking dinner. Jack had offered to help, but Gabriel told him in no uncertain terms that the best "help" he could give would be to take "himself and his sweet, distracting ass out of the kitchen". Jack laughed as Gabriel brandished a spoon and lightly swatted Jack's butt, and felt a tingle take a leisurely stroll down his spine. Now he sat on the couch and for the first time in several days, he felt hope that maybe his libido would return after all.

He let his mind wander back to the conversations of the previous days; the ones where he'd bared himself to Gabe more than he had to anyone else, deciding to trust that _this_  time, his gut instinct was correct and those asshole voices in his head were not.

"I'm not even worried about it," Gabe said, after Jack brought up the lack of sex for the umpteenth time. "We don't have to have sex to have a good relationship, and having a good relationship with you is important to me. I enjoy it, but I don't _need_  it, and I'm not going to go looking for it somewhere else."

"I know, I know... I just... sorry, I know you've told me that a couple times already, I just..."

"I'll tell you as many times as you need, Jack. I know it's hard, and I know I might have years of this ahead of me, but it's worth it, okay? I think it's worth it. I think _you_  are worth it. I meant it when I said I'd do anything you needed me to, and if that includes repeating myself several times a day, then I'll do it," Gabriel said.

It was finally starting to sink in. It had only been two months since Jack had dared to get off in front of Gabriel on the subway, but it felt like a lifetime. Jack smiled to himself, then blinked and startled as he realized Gabriel was standing there looking at him with a soft smile of his own.

"You must have been far away, Jack. I was standing here for almost two minutes," Gabriel teased.

"I was thinking about you... about us," Jack said, as Gabriel sat down next to him. He carefully set the mug of cocoa on the coffee table and leaned into Gabriel's welcoming arms.

Gabe kissed the top of Jack's head, "And?"

"Do you ever feel like we're moving too fast? I mean, it _has_  only been two months," Jack said.

"Two months of the best and worst times of my life, Jackie," Gabe said softly. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Even the bad stuff with my stupid brain?"

"Your brain's not stupid, but yes, even that stuff. My Mama always told me I had to take the bad with the good, otherwise I wouldn't appreciate the good when I had it. And right now, I do. I appreciate this. I appreciate you, Jack Morrison. I don't care that it's only been two months," Gabe replied.

Jack hummed softly and nuzzled his face against Gabe's neck, breathing deep. Gabriel's scent was all over the blanket, and now all over him, and Jack loved it. He planted a tiny kiss just below Gabriel's jaw and the other man chuckled warmly and gave him a squeeze.

For several minutes, they watched the snow fall.

"Have you ever been ice skating, Jack?" Gabriel said, breaking the silence quietly.

Jack nodded, "Yes, absolutely. We had a pond on our farm that froze over every winter, and I was always out there when I could."

"Have you been ice skating since you ... grew up?" Gabe asked.

Jack blinked, then thought about it, "No... I haven't. That's weird. I loved it when I was a kid."

"You wanna go ice skating with me sometime?"

"You need to ask? I'd love to!" Jack replied.

Gabriel gave him a brilliant smile, then leaned forward and gently kissed Jack. As their lips touched, Jack felt the lazy ripple of sensation down his spine again, and leaned into the kiss. Had Gabriel's lips always been so soft? It felt like Jack was kissing the man for the first time, slow and sweet. Their tongues touched briefly and Jack sighed.

Gabriel gently broke the kiss and pulled back enough that he could look into Jack's eyes, "That was a nice noise."

Jack smiled and sighed again, reaching up to cup the back of Gabriel's neck, caressing gently.

"Will you just kiss me forever?" he asked.

In answer, Gabriel leaned forward again, and Jack happily forgot himself for a while in the sweetness of Gabe's kiss.

 


End file.
